How to Save a Stop & Go Relationship

Relationships are tricky, but incredible worthwhile when developed properly. Unfortunately, sometimes a relationship gets into stop-and-go pattern. You may find that you love a person but tend to argue or experience disagreements that strain the relationship to the point of breaking up. Your love brings you back together, but you may still experience difficulty moving past your problems. In order to break the stop-and-go pattern of your relationship, you must both be willing to work hard and be patient as your relationship heals.

Instructions

Discuss what your primary problems are. You don't need to list every issue your relationship has, but talk about major areas of disagreement. For example, maybe you dislike that your boyfriend looks at attractive women. Perhaps you hate it when your girlfriend tells her mother about your sex life. Pick out the top issues and discuss these.

Be honest with one another. If you discuss a specific issue, don't sugarcoat the way you feel about the problem. Tell your partner specifically how the issue makes you feel. For example, you could say, "When you speak to me in an irritated tone of voice, I think you're disappointed in me and I'm not good enough for you." Allow your lover to respond to you without interruption or judgment. The point of discussing your problems is not to find blame, but to find a way to move past the problem.

Accept responsibility for your contributions to the relationship. Your girlfriend may be cranky, but you have full control over the way you react to her moodiness. Maybe your boyfriend is perpetually late. You still choose how you respond to his tardiness. Realize that your reactions to different situations and problems can either help the relationship grow stronger or it can tear the relationship apart. Admit to your significant other that you understand you aren't perfect, either, and that you make mistakes.

Work toward compromise in your relationship. If you want to move your relationship to a deeper, stronger level of commitment and understanding, you will have to make sacrifices. Part of being a couple means letting the other person win sometimes. If your girlfriend wants to sit down and eat dinner at the table each night instead of in front of the television, maybe you could sit with her. Maybe your boyfriend wants to relax after work for an hour before he hangs out with you. Give him that alone time.

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