How to Keep My Cool in an Argument

Whether its with family, friends or your significant other, all relationships have their ups and downs, and arguments are bound to occur. How you handle the argument effects the aftermath. You can apologize, but you can't take back something you said during an argument that hurts the person. Learning how to keep your emotions in check and remaining calm can turn a heated argument into a civil disagreement where the two of you are willing to hear each other out.

Instructions

Step away from an escalating argument. You may have to walk away for a few minutes and take several deep breaths to calm yourself down. According to Cosmopolitan contributor and psychologist Dr. Jennifer Baker, it takes up to 30 minutes away from the person to calm down completely. With your head clear, you can come back to the conversation more willing to hear the other person out.

Avoid personal attacks. Keep the conversation focused on resolving the conflict and not hurting each other further with insults. Don't start bringing up stuff from the past or you'll never resolve the current issue at hand.

Choose your words wisely. Arguments often escalate because of the words you choose and how you speak to the person. If you start off saying something like, "You're so selfish!" you can bet the person will become very defensive and start bringing up your faults. Instead of calling him selfish, tell him exactly what is bothering you, such as "I feel like we only watch what you want to watch on TV, and I wish we could compromise, so that I could watch some of my shows, too." Being very clear and specific about the issue without insulting the person makes both parties far more willing to work something out.

Let the person speak. Give her direct eye contact and turn your body towards that person so they know you are really listening and taking it in. Let her know that you understand where she are coming from and that you want her to understand where you are coming from.

Be willing to admit fault. After you hear the person's point of view, if you see where you may have gone wrong in the situation, say so. In return, the other person will be more likely to admit his part in the conflict as well.

Find a resolution you both will be happy with. At this point, you both should be calm after hearing each other's point of view and accepting responsibility. Talk about how to resolve the issue through compromise. For example, if the situation is about hogging the television, suggest that the two of you alternate who gets to choose what to watch depending on the day and the other person's show can be recorded.

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