Striking up a conversation with a girl for the first time can be an awkward experience. This is especially true with a shy girl, because she may appear aloof and unapproachable. Traditional forms of flirtation may be intimidating to a shy girl, so you need to change to a slower, more gradual approach. According to Bernardo Carducci, director of the Indiana University Southeast Shyness Research Institute, shy people need extra time to adapt to new situations, even everyday conversations.
Instructions
- 1
Rehearse a warm, friendly smile. According to Susan Rabin, M.A., author of "How To Attract Anyone, Anytime, Anyplace", the most important aspect of any successful personal interaction, is a smile. You want your smile toward a shy girl to be warm and inviting. A smile lets her know that you are friendly and open, even if she, for the moment, is not. According to Rabin, you should rehearse your smile for your friends, or even practice in a mirror.
2Prepare what you are going to say in advance. By preparing what you are going to say, before you speak to her, you will boost your confidence. Shy girls may be reluctant to speak at first, so you can take up the slack by being prepared. Put together some open-ended questions that allow her to express herself. It is not necessary to prepare what you are going to say, word for word. Just select topics that you think might be of mutual interest.
3Approach her cautiously, with a smile. Attempt to make very brief eye contact. According to the Social Issues Research Centre(SIRC), don't be alarmed if she fails to make eye contact. It simply is an indication of her shyness. It is important not to try to make extended eye contact, as that may make her uncomfortable. As you are approaching her, don't get too close. According to the SIRC, stop at a distance of about four feet to begin your conversation. If you approach closer than four feet, you may invade her personal space, and cause her to feel uncomfortable.
4Ask her opinion, or advice, on an appropriate topic. The nature of the question would depend on the location of your meeting. At a grocery store, ask her opinion on an item in her cart. If she is drinking wine at a restaurant or bar, ask her opinion on wine. By asking for her advice or opinion, you allow her to express herself on a topic that she is familiar with. This will give her the confidence to continue the conversation. Continue the conversation by trying to get her to laugh. As she is speaking, don't interrupt her. Show interest in what she has to say.
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