How to Make Up Your Mind: Ending a Bad Relationship

If you've said it once you've said it a hundred times; your relationship is just not working and you want out. Sometimes leaving is best, but to help make up your mind, it may be necessary to be a bit proactive. Determine if the partnership is worth saving, and leave yourself open to the possible conclusion that ending a bad relationship may be best for all concerned.

Instructions

Talk it out. If you're not sure what's going on in the other person's head, nothing beats communication before throwing in the towel. Have a heart to heart with the person you are dating and talk about how you feel. See if any misunderstandings can be cleared up. Are you both on the same wave length? Does your partner see your point? Will you be able to work together to resolve any problems? After an attempt at communicating, is it still difficult to make up your mind?

Think it through. It's hard to cope when tempers flare up in the heat of an argument. Not only doesn't this resolve anything, but in that moment you are more likely to jump to conclusions. It's better to make decisions after you have cooled down and had a chance to look at the relationship as a whole. Have you been able to make up your mind yet? It may not seem like it at the outset, but ending a bad relationship will decrease the stress you are under, as well as that of any other family members.

Have a heart to heart with yourself. Self esteem is important. People who respect themselves will attract a person who respects them. It may be easier for you to make up your mind when you realize you need to be the same kind of person you want to attract. Without realizing it, you may have attracted that bad relationship yourself.

Draw up the pros and the cons. Use an old standby and make up a list. Divide the page in half, labeling two columns at the top, one with the word "pros" and the other with the word "cons." See if the cons outweigh the pros in the relationship, or the reverse. Ending a bad relationship is not an easy thing to face, but doing something constructive first can help you understand if this is where it is headed.

Confide in a parent or friend. Before ending a bad relationship there may be some confusion and you won't know for sure which direction to take. Before you make up your mind, try to get someone else's perspective. You may be surprised to find your friends thought it would never last right from the start. Or, you may just get some good, sound advice.

Define the deal breakers. There may be an ongoing conflict or issue that you cannot condone. If your partner is abusive or into substance abuse, then recognize this relationship may seem to have started off well, but has turned bad. Ending a bad relationship may be the only choice left; your dignity and safety are more important.

Make up your mind. Do you want a functional relationship as a couple? You cannot fix someone or tell them how to live their life. Be willing to jointly find a solution, or make an exit. If your special someone doesn't compliment and respect you, learn from the experience and your next relationship will be better.

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