Thursday, May 29, 2014

Things to Consider Before Resuming a Broken Relationship

Getting back together with an ex-partner demands careful consideration. You may have strong feelings for your ex once more, but this could just be lust. Stopping to think before you pick up where you left off will help you know whether getting back together is wise, or whether you would once again be brokenhearted.

Why You Broke Up

    Time can heal most wounds, so remember why you broke up in the first place. Without consideration of what initially broke your heart, you could be lining yourself up for more heartache. Ask yourself if you think your partner has changed and understand that your decision to get back together is a gamble. Ease yourself back into the relationship before you commit fully to seeing your partner again. This will slow the growth of the emotional attachment and, therefore, you may not be hurt as much if the relationship ends again.

How Things Have Changed

    You may be at risk of falling back into old habits, which could trigger another painful breakup. Frame your relationship differently from what you had previously. For example, if you lived together the first time around, live apart until you are sure you can trust your partner with your emotions. Or, if the issue that led to your breakup was that you didn't spend enough time together, set up a regular date night when you can bond with your partner.

The Reason to Get Back Together

    After a relationships ends, some couples see each other for sexual intimacy. You may find that you feel emotionally attached to the person again, but that feeling could be triggered by the intimacy alone. Don't get back together for sexual reasons alone.

Who You Are

    When it comes to relationships, some level of selfishness is needed. If you get back together to satisfy anyone other than yourself, you are only setting yourself up for failure. For example, if you get back together because you feel sorry for your partner, you will likely break up again and only make things harder on both of you. Getting back together only because you share a child with your partner is a path to trouble, as well, because if no other reasons exist for continuing the relationship, the forces that tore it apart before will probably manifest themselves again. That leaves the child to have to deal with the breakup and the struggle that precedes it all over again.



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