How to Move on After Being Emotionally Cheated On

Moving on after a breakup is never easy, and if your partner was emotionally unfaithful, the aftermath of a relationship can be especially painful. If this is your situation, you can heal from the betrayal by freeing yourself of the reminders of the relationship, keeping a diary of your emotions, reaching out to friends and family, creating new habits that put distance between yourself and your ex, re-framing the loss, and setting your sights on new opportunities.

Instructions

Free yourself from the physical reminders of the relationship. Send back any items that might have sentimental value, such as baby pictures or childhood collectibles. Make arrangements for a swap, if you can stand a meeting. If not, inform her in a note that you are returning the items by mail. Throw out disposable items, such as toiletries, but save things like photographs and love letters, out of sight. You may want to return to those in a later phase of your healing.

Keep a diary of your emotions. The practice of writing down feelings has been shown to have beneficial long- and short-term emotional and psychological benefits. Describe your mood, your interactions with others and your means of coping with the situation. Be honest with yourself, even if what you feel doesn't seem particularly attractive.

Reach out to friends and family for emotional support. In the aftermath of being emotionally cheated on, it's likely that your sense of self worth is at a low point. While you should give yourself plenty of alone-time to process your emotions, avoid the temptation to isolate yourself. Instead, let family and friends know what you're going through, and draw on the strength they give you for coping.

Create new habits that put distance between you and your ex. Whether it's changing the music you listen to, the route you take to school or work, or the places where you hang out, the point is to send a message to your inner emotional self that it is over. If that doesn't work, and circumstances permit, you may want to consider even stronger measures, such as changing jobs, living situation or moving to a new city.

Re-frame the loss. Your broken heart is probably whispering a lot of stuff in your ears: the breakup was personal, you'll never find anyone better, and the other person with whom your ex cheated had something you lack. Tell yourself instead that breakups happen even to the best looking and most talented people, that it was better the relationship ended now rather than later, and that you'll probably both be better off and happier without each other.

Set your sights on new opportunities. Take up a new hobby or interest. If you have the means, take a trip to someplace you've never been. Expand your circle of friends, reinvent yourself, or throw yourself into a new creative endeavor. Find things to love about your new life even while you grieve the life that's gone.

Seek counseling, if the situation calls for it. Emotional infidelity can be difficult to overcome because it doesn't leave the same trail of evidence as does sexual infidelity. The effect on you as a former partner may be to leave you feeling alone and wondering if it really happened the way you remember it. A therapist can help you to sort through the complexities of the situation and arrive at the essential truths that will help in your recovery.

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