If you are dating or married to someone who is putting a dark cloud over your relationship, you're probably searching for a way to deal with the issues you're facing on a daily basis. Your spouse may simply be upset over something personal that's going on with work, or it could be more serious. Some people purposely seek out a spouse who they can manipulate, control and even abuse. How you should deal with your spouse will depend on the severity of your situation.
Instructions
- 1
Recognize the signs of an abusive spouse. Often, an abusive person exhibits unpredictable behavior. Abuse can take a few different forms, from emotional and mental abuse to physical abuse. Intimidation and manipulation are types of abuse. Unfortunately, sometimes people who are abusive exhibit extremely attractive qualities at first -- such as irresistible charm or suaveness.
2Defend yourself. While it's tempting to just go along with whatever your spouse says in order to avoid an argument, this doesn't make for a healthy relationship atmosphere. You can defend yourself while keeping your voice low and your tone even -- rationalizing with them.
3Understand that some negative behavior can be subconscious. Your spouse may not know that they're acting a certain way. Instead of immediately getting on their case, consider that there may be a deeper problem that's seriously affecting their personality.
4Confront your spouse calmly, and do so when they're calm as well. It's not a good idea to approach your spouse in order to talk about their negative attitude when they've been having a bad day -- you won't get any type of positive reaction. Ask your spouse what the root of the problem is -- you may learn that there's something going on that you haven't been aware of.
5Praise your spouse when they do something that makes you happy. Constantly concentrating on a bad attitude and negative energy will only make it more prevalent. Try to lift the mood by showing your spouse that you appreciate them.
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