It's tough to predict when breakups will happen, but when they do, they are never easy --- no matter how on-the-rocks the relationship might be. However, if you must break up with your girlfriend, there are ways to ease the blow and minimize regrets and hard feelings. Consider how you would want to be treated if the tables were turned, and treat her with respect and honesty so you both can move on with dignity.
Create Distance
If you are lovey-dovey one day and then break up with her the next, she'll always wonder why you were so close when you suddenly ended your relationship. Refrain from being cold or cruel, but create some emotional distance before you actually break up. This time apart allows you to prepare what you want to say and also likely alerts her that you two have some talking to do. Don't let it go for more than a day or two before you talk, however, because the suspense may be too much for her to bear.
Make a Clean Break
It's honorable to think that men and women can be friends after a breakup, and some couples pull it off. However, you cannot expect to go from eating dinner by candlelight together to drinking beers and watching football. Tell her in person that you can't be together anymore, and then avoid any contact after your breakup, including calls, emails, texts, instant messages and in-person encounters. If you want to stay friends and think it's feasible to do so, give the breakup some time to settle before you start catching movies and hanging out at coffee houses again.
Be Nice
It's tempting to be a jerk to your girlfriend in hopes that she'll do the dirty work of breaking up with you. However, there's nothing honorable in treating your girlfriend poorly; it only reflects on your own character. Above all, be respectful to your girlfriend by being honest about your feelings. She might feel upset in the moment, but in the long run, she'll thank you for being upfront.
Allow for Closure
Your girlfriend will want an opportunity to say goodbye, so give it to her. After your initial breakup discussion, let her say anything that's on her mind about your failed relationship. Wait a few days and offer to discuss your reasons for the breakup along with her point of view. Giving her this closure allows both of you to move on to healthier relationships.
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