Saturday, November 12, 2016

How to Tell If It's Time to End Your Relationship

A 2010 study by the U.S. Census Bureau found there are close to 100 million unmarried people over the age of 18 in America. Of that number, over 39 percent have been previously married. With so many single people in the U.S., one thing is clear. Relationships are constantly beginning and ending. While no two relationships are identical, there are some signs to watch out for that may alert you to when it is time to end a relationship with someone you love.

Broken Trust

    When infidelity occurs within a relationship, it's a strong sign that it's time to end the commitment to one another. A study published in "The Journal of Research in Personality" by D.M. Buss and T.K. Shackelford estimated that between 30 and 60 percent of married couples will deal with infidelity during their union. Add in couples who are simply dating and the number increases. Once the breach occurs within the relationship, it can be very hard for the partner who was cheated on to continue trusting the other person. Counseling, communication and other relationship building exercises might help to re-build that trust. However, if one party cannot get beyond the infidelity, it's time to end the relationship.

Different Values

    You might be familiar with the term "opposites attract." At the inception of the relationship, it's exciting to date someone different from who you are as an individual. However, as the relationship grows, the same differences that seemed so interesting in the beginning might prove to be a sticking point between the two of you. For example, if one partner is extremely religious and the other isn't. Or, if one partner wants kids and the other doesn't. Or, if one partner indulges in alcohol to a problematic degree, while the other is sober. It might be better to part ways than try to be with someone who shares a different set of values and standards than your own.

Lack of Passion

    One of the keys to a successful relationship is the intense physical and mental connection you share with the other person. If that fire is suddenly extinguished, you might find yourself wondering where the burning passion went. In fact, according to a 2008 study for the online magazine MailOnline, passion between two people in love often wains about 31 months into the relationship. If you've tried rekindling the spark through romantic dates, couples counseling and maybe even a couples retreat and the fire has not returned, it might be time to end the relationship and remain really great friends. Ending up in a situation where neither one of you is feeling passion for the other person won't help either party in the long run.

Professional Goals

    When two people are in a relationship and have divergent professional goals, it can make it hard to stay together over the long haul. For example, if one party is an international sales person and the other owns a small town business, the amount of time they'll be able to physically see each other might be compromised. While a relationship between people with varying professional goals certainly can work, it might not be the relationship where either party feels truly fulfilled. If this is the case, assess whether the two of you can really make your commitment work given both of your professional careers.

Abusive Relationship

    If the relationship with your partner turns abusive, it is time to end the relationship. The Harris Poll of 2006 found that 15 percent of Americans have been a victim of domestic violence. Furthermore, if the relationship is mentally abusive, that is also a sign it needs to end. You should never feel threatened, in danger or in an unsafe place for your mental or physical well-being. If this is the case, contact the proper authorities and leave the relationship immediately.



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