How to End a Long Relationship With Your Fiance

Sometimes in a long relationship, you can come to the realization that things simply aren't working anymore. Even if you feel fondness toward your partner, you can wake up one morning and acknowledge that things just don't feel right and you're not happy. When this occurs, it means that the relationship needs to end. Breaking up with someone can be especially difficult, however, if you are engaged to be married. Learn how to break up with your fiance in a respectful way -- before you both make a serious mistake.

Instructions

Ponder your decision carefully. Once you express to your fiance that you wish to end the relationship, there likely is no turning back. Things can't ever really be exactly the same as they were before once you make that statement. Take your time to assess your decision. Make sure that ending the engagement and relationship is what you truly want. Avoid rash decisions. If you're angry at your fiance for whatever reason, make your decision at a later time when you feel calmer and more relaxed.

Refrain from shocking your fiance. Try not to be fake with your partner when you know you're about to break up with him. Doing this will only make the pain worse for him. This is not to say that you should treat him cruelly before you break up with him, but instead that you should try to act more subdued and muted about the engagement and relationship in general.

Avoid wasting time. Once you are 100 percent certain about what you wish to do, tell your fiance that you need to speak to him. When you do, offer him total honesty about why you wish to end the relationship. Whether you need to say that you are both on separate paths in life or that your values and beliefs are totally incompatible, show him honesty. The more honest and direct you are, the less confused he will be. In this fragile discussion, abstain from making insults and attacks. Chances are, your fiance will already feel very hurt and won't need more salt on his wounds.

Speak firmly. Make sure that your fiance understands that you are serious about the breakup. Stay away from ambiguous statements and make it obvious that your decision is final. Avoid giving him false hope.

Display a little bit of compassion. When someone breaks up with you, it can seem like the end of the world at the beginning. Try to understand your fiance's feelings. Ask him how he feels. Listen to what he has to say and his side of things. Identify his emotions. Apologize if you feel that you had anything to do with why your relationship didn't work out. If you want to, allow yourself to cry and express sorrow for the ending of the relationship as well.

Discuss the cancellation of the wedding. If wedding preparation is already under way, talk to your fiance about who needs to do what. If you are both feeling highly emotional, wait a few days to do this. Return your engagement ring. Take back your wedding invitations. Contact all of the vendors you have hired. Make a list of everything you need to do so you do not forget anything important.

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