Getting over an ex is not always an easy process, especially if you share the same circle of friends, work together or frequent the same places. Even though a breakup may seem like the end of the world, there are ways to move on and leave the past behind. With enough time, distance and self-reflection, emotional wounds can heal and the possibility of a new relationship can be explored.
Cut all Ties With Your Ex
It may be difficult to leave your ex behind, but it's important to cut all ties with that person until the healing process has been completed. Often, emotional vulnerability and loneliness will lead people back into relationships with their exes, only to repeat the same behaviors that ended the relationship in the first place. Cut all ties with your ex for a while. Remove the person's contact information from your phone and email. Don't spend time together and don't attempt to have a friendship for at least a few months. Take the necessary time to grieve and let go. Once true healing has been achieved, a friendship may be possible.
Dive Into Your own Life Head-First
Fill the empty space left by an ex with all the activities you've wanted to do but never had time for in the relationship. Schedule every day from start to finish; everything from working out in the morning to what you'll cook for dinner. Participate in clubs, groups or sports. Reach out to friends and book dinner dates and lunches in advance. Make a list of all the activities that bring you happiness and fulfillment and commit to doing several things on that list every day.
Play the Tape
After a breakup, it's common to only remember the good things about a person or feel as if the split was a mistake. Play the tape. Remind yourself of the reasons the relationship ended. In fact, write them down on a piece of paper and tape it where it's visible every day. Make a list of your ex's negative qualities. Ask a loved one to be your phone buddy. If you experience the urge to call an ex, call that friend or family member instead.
Make Your Ideals List
Consider what the relationship lacked and how the next relationship could be better. Make a list of the ideal qualities you want in a partner, whether it's the color of the person's eyes or how that person deals with conflict. No attribute is too silly or insignificant. The process of writing down an ideals list often helps clarify and solidify desires. Choose five to 10 qualities that are non-negotiable in a relationship and don't bother dating people who don't have those qualities. In time, the right person will match up to the most important qualities on the list.
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