The Best Ways to Start Over After a Long-Term Relationship

A long-term relationship breakup can devastate both partners. Your emotions run haywire and can overwhelm you. Even when you know the relationship needs to end, you will probably struggle with unresolved feelings. Starting over after a breakup is one of the most difficult things a person can do, but it's a necessary part of the moving on process.

The end of a long-term relationship takes time to process through and grieve. You have suffered a number of losses, including possible economic and emotional ones. Confronting the pain head-on can be scary and intense, but will help you reach the other side. Your emotions may yo-yo from day to day. Talk with others about your feelings, whether it's good friends or a support group. Journal the process. You can see how far you have come as you look through your old diaries.

While it might be tempting to jump into a new relationship, don't. Take your time to learn the life lessons that are coming your way. When you do meet that special someone, you will not have the emotional hang-ups left from your previous relationship. You want to be free to move forward without baggage.

Recognize that you have just come through an extremely stressful time in your life. You are adapting to a number of life changes, and you will be physically and emotionally vulnerable. Get enough rest and exercise, and try to cut back at work. Enjoy the world around you through nature, music and the little things in life. Set boundaries. Develop a routine to bring some stability to yourself. Wait to make any major decisions. Try some new activities. Avoid overeating and other addictive behaviors.

Go with the flow as you begin to date again. The relationship scene might differ greatly from what you were used to 20, 15 or even three years ago. Look into online dating as option. Tell friends you are looking, but don't act pushy or desperate. If people know you are available, they will be glad to keep their eyes open for you. That means you might need to risk the oh-so-scary blind date.

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