If cheating is the scourge of relationships, then paranoia and naivete are, at two extremes, its devious accomplices. At one end of the spectrum, obsessive suspicion may snuff out cheaters, but more likely will repel innocent guys -- or suffocate them into straying. At the other end, unconditional trust is romantic in ideal, but risks becoming self-defeating gullibility; indeed, willful ignorance can offer backward incentive to stray. It's a challenging balancing act, but nobody said monogamy was easy. These tell-tale cheating signs can help you navigate a healthy relationship: Assume loyalty, but be alert to red flags.
Manic Cell and Computer Habits
Is he jumping like a frightened bunny when his phone rings or when an email pops up in your presence? Is he changing and securing account passwords that he used to share with you? Is he newly compulsive about deleting his messages? Do you hear him whispering on the phone when he thinks you're not listening or typing furiously when you're in another room? Does he get defensive and evasive if you casually inquire as to these objectively weird habits that he's suddently adopted?
If this all-too-frequent pattern sounds familiar, ladies, you've got real cause for alarm. Even the most gullible girlfriends would concede that Romeo is hiding something of consequence and, let's be frank, it's not a diamond ring. Do your self-respect a favor: ditch the dud and his dirty little secret.
His Posse's Acting Peculiar
If he's cheating, his best buddies are probably aware, if not privy to the scandalous details. His boys will probably also be loyal to him and keep mum, no matter how scummy his treatment or pitiable it makes you look. As long as he keeps bringing you around, though, they'll have to front, to your face, like all's swell and status quo. Usually, they'll fail, suddenly behaving in notably strange ways that betray the illusion of normalcy---and with it the existence, in their new possession, of a game-changing secret that can only be one thing. Be wary of dead-giveaway buddy behaviors: manifestations of guilty consciences (if they're halfway-decent guys); or new or increased snarkiness and condescension (if they're scum like him).
Take note, however: if all other signs point to Don Juan's cheating, then the fact of his posse's acting the same as ever does not spell innocence. To the contrary, their impassiveness says that: (1) he's been cheating and telling the whole time you've been "together"; and/or (2) he's a serial cheater and they've played this game before.
He Doesn't Get Physical Anymore...
With you, that is. If a chilly void has replaced where his passion used to lie, you can bet that he's directing his warm and fuzzies elsewhere. You know your man's sexual calendar and ways of showing physical affection better than anyone, and will notice any telling changes: a substantial decrease in sex, even though you used to have a healthy sex life; a host of cliched excuses for why he's not in the mood, even though he's never made them before; or rarely kissing or touching you or holding your hand, even though he used to be naturally affectionate.
Whether he's cheating because he lost physical interest in you or stopped wanting you because he's cheating, the result is the same: he's getting his sexual satisfaction from another source, and you're out in the cold. Kick him to the curb; she can have him.
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