How to Keep From Arguing Back

Arguing is a healthy part of any relationship, but long, drawn-out spats with your partner can take their toll on both of you and the relationship. If you've gone 12 rounds with your significant other, and there's still no end in sight, sometimes the best way to end the fight is to stop arguing back. Follow these steps and you'll find yourself putting down the gloves.

Instructions

Take a few deep breaths. Arguing is stressful and tempers often flair during fights, so it's easier to stop yourself from arguing if you relax and calm down. Breathe in through your nose, hold it for five seconds, and then exhale through your mouth. Do this exercise three times.

Resist the urge to "win." Most fights have a winner and loser, but that's not the case when couples fight. Being in a relationship with someone means you're on the same team. You're supposed to back each other up, not tear each other down. So when you go up against your partner both of you lose. It may be tempting to try and "win" a war of words, but finding a solution to the issue without fighting will ultimately be better for the relationship.

Communicate your feelings. Calmly and honestly explain why you are upset and offer a solution to the problem. Then allow your partner to do the same. When you do this, you may have the urge to defend yourself against something your partner says. Don't do it. Being defensive will only keep the argument going.

Go for a walk. If discussing the situation calmly isn't working, then remove yourself from the situation. This doesn't mean you should storm out of the house in the middle of an argument. Instead, ask your partner to give you a few minutes to collect your thoughts. Giving yourself this time and space to think about the argument may give you some clarity and help both of you settle down.

Let go. How many times have you gotten into an argument with your significant other only to realize an hour or two into it that you don't remember what you are arguing about? If discussing the situation doesn't solve the problem, it could mean whatever you're arguing about isn't really worth the time and energy. Recognizing the silliness of an argument isn't always easy when you're in the heat of the moment, but if you're willing to let go of it, chances are your partner might be, too.

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