The Stages of Development in Healthy Relationships

Throughout life, how individuals connect with others is an important theme. From babies first learning to communicate needs and develop a bond with their parents, to adolescents looking to understand relationships, and to adults ready to make long-term commitments, how we engage in the lives of another individual is key to building healthy bonds. A healthy relationship goes through several stages of development. This natural progression involves a mutual interest in the other individual's needs and life goals.

During this phase, individuals are introduced, or people who have known each other for some time begin to see each other in a different light. This "light" often means that individuals express interest in dating to get to know each other better.

Once two people have entered into a relationship, it is natural for some codependence to develop. This does not mean that an individual needs the other to function, but rather that the two dedicate time to spend with one another in order to foster the relationship. This is known as "dating," or "courting" if the intent is to eventually marry. Couples should spend time alone and as a group to develop healthy relationships with each other and as a couple to the outside world.

During the beginning stages of a relationship, couples often feel worry-free. Once conflicts start to arise, it is natural for couples to fight or experience disillusion in the stability of the relationship. How well a relationship functions and whether or not it continues is typically based on how individuals cope with this stage. So long as individuals can express their concerns, make compromises and offer solutions to problems, they can continue on to the next stage of healthy development.

During a relationship, individuals should not completely abandon their sense of self. During this stage, individuals should move forward with their specific goals, while keeping the other party in mind. Failure to satisfy personal needs can lead to more conflict, unhealthy codependence or a loss of personal happiness.

Intimacy is the result of long-term commitment and healthy conflict resolution. Individuals should feel a healthy amount of closeness to their partners, without losing their sense of who they are. This is the end-goal of most healthy relationships, where couples can feel content with their status in their partner's heart while never forgetting their own needs.

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