Making Your Partner Feel Special

It doesn't matter if you're in a long-term relationship or just getting established as a couple: if you want to stay together, you need to keep your special someone happy. "A study of arranged marriages in which love has grown over time hints that commitment, communication, accommodation and vulnerability are key components of a successful relationship," writes Robert Epstein in his article "Fall in Love and Stay That Way" published in the January/February 2010 issue of Scientific American Mind. By making your partner feel appreciated, you strengthen the relationship and increase your chances of staying together.

Make a list of the qualities that drew you to this person in the first place. Write one good characteristic at a time on slips of paper tucked into your partner's current reading material, his briefcase, on the steering wheel, or even on a carton of milk in the fridge. For example, "I love that you're always honest with me." When you notice one of the qualities, mention it on the spot. Say something like, "That was hilarious. I've always loved the way you can make me laugh."

Your options for organizing a special event to woo your significant other run the gamut, from going all-out on a romantic getaway weekend trip, to preparing one of your special someone's favorite meals. Buy tickets to see a band, play or comedy act that you know your partner would enjoy, or plan a picnic in the park. By choosing an activity that makes him happy, you show your significant other how special he is to you.

Gifts don't have to be elaborate. You don't have to buy your partner a new car to express your love; you could give her something as simple as an origami animal you made following instructions online. Even practical gifts, such as a pair of work gloves to replace the ripped ones you noticed him wearing, show you are thinking of your special someone.

When you come home, track down your partner and give her a hug and smile. Few things show your appreciation less than barely acknowledging someone's presence when you walk in the door.

If you like what she's wearing or notice that she's repaired the toilet or made the kitchen floor sparkle, let her know. Tell him you appreciate his efforts to look attractive, repair the family van or walk the dog.

A little neck massage goes a long way. Unless your partner shies away from being touched, a loving caress can help him relax and feel appreciated. If your partner doesn't enjoy foot rubs, try gently pulling on her earlobes. You may both be surprised at how good this feels.

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