How to Get Over a Lover When You Broke it Off

Breaking up can often be very painful, even when you're the one who called things off. But, with a little thoughtfulness and self-exertion, you can come out of a break up stronger than ever and ready for a better relationship.

Instructions

Be cool. Since you're the one who ended the relationship, there are likely to be some hard feelings toward you on the other side. This is your chance to display grace under fire. Stay above the drama by being polite and not bad-mouthing your ex--no matter what rumors you hear.

Remember the pros and the cons. Obviously, there were positive things about your ex that attracted you in the first place. Be thankful for those things, but keep a realistic perspective by focusing on the reasons you ended the relationship. This list is for your eyes only, and it serves as a reminder that you made a healthy decision and are ready for a brighter future.

Stay away from your ex. Maybe your former flame wants to rehash details of your relationship, dispute your break up or persuade you to try again. Be wary. There's no reason you can't be friends down the road, but right now, you two should stay away from each other and let feelings--good and bad--fade away.

Rebound, slowly and carefully. A lot of people will tell you not to date anyone new for a while, but there's nothing wrong with casual dating if you keep yourself commitment-free. After all, you chose to end one relationship so that you could be free to pursue someone who really worked for you. Go ahead and pursue; just keep expectations reasonable.

Look to the future. Right after a break-up is a great time to reflect on your desires and needs in a relationship. Reflect on what went right and what went wrong in your most recent romance, and figure out how you can choose an even healthier, happier relationship in the future.

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