How to Confront a Boyfriend

When you have found out that your boyfriend has lied to you, you may want to confront him in the heat of the moment. However if you focus on the fact that he lied more than why he lied, the conversation can be counterproductive towards your relationship. The best way to deal with the situation is to speak to your partner in a calm and rational manner. You may be hurt but if order to reveal the reason for his lying, you must not let your anger control your emotions or the conversation.

Instructions

Sit down with your partner once you have calmed down from the situation. Turn off all distractions such as cell phones, televisions and computers. You both need to focus on each other.

Don't attack your boyfriend. This means do not place blame or point out his misdeeds. This will lead to him becoming defensive and may lead to counter attacks, denial and hostility. This will not progress your conversation and may make things worse.

Don't focus on the fact that he lied or used deception. Phrase what's bothering you in the least judgmental way possible. Focus on your feelings. For example you can something to the point of, "I found something that is bothering me. I'm (insert your emotion) about...I wish to discuss it with you." Showing that you are open to communication may help him to relax. Pointing the finger and blaming him can cause him to clam up.

Focus on explaining how you feel. It may be easier for him to listen and hear what you have to say since you are not dwelling on his wrong doing.

Do not assign blame, try not to make many "you" statements. Phrase your sentences with "I feel" or "it makes me feel." He may empathize with your position. Once you have completely stated how you feel, allow him to speak uninterrupted to express why did lie.

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