How to Rekindle Trust

If you've had your trust violated, you may feel like you will never trust again. This doesn't have to be the case, though. You can rebuild your ability to trust, but it takes time and effort. Trust doesn't rebuild itself; you have to make a concerted, consistent effort to build it. So, you need to commit to taking daily steps that will make you more confident and better-prepared to trust again in order to move on with your life and regain your happiness.

Instructions

Talk to the person who betrayed you. If the relationship is going to continue, this needs to be a two-way street: while you need to talk about how you feel, he needs to actively listen and take your feelings on board.

Look at yourself. While there's no excuse for betraying your trust, it is also true that things don't occur in a vacuum. If your partner betrayed you, you need to look at the underlying issues in the relationship that made him feel as if it was okay for him to do so.

Think about whether the person who betrayed you is genuinely interested in moving forward. You should be able to tell between lip service and an actual desire to change; if you sense the former, you should probably think about ending the relationship.

Tell your partner that he needs to earn trust back rather than have it given to him. You can say you trust him after one conversation, but you won't really. Rather, he needs to demonstrate a commitment to your relationship and your trust through daily, concrete actions that are based on the discussions you had. These actions should address the underlying relationship problems.

Give yourself time. You won't trust him again immediately. Rather, if he puts forth an effort and makes the concrete changes mentioned above, trust will slowly grow back. So don't be surprised if you still have doubts after a week or even a month. In time, though, you'll realize that your trust has been rekindled and your relationship can move forward.

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