How to Know if You're in a Bad Relationship With a Guy

You are starting to wonder if you are in a bad relationship with a guy. You argue frequently, and it's not always pleasant to be around him. Normal relationships have ups and downs -- sometimes you feel as though you are giving more than you are getting, or you just don't feel as passionate as you once did. Bad relationships, however, differ markedly from normal relationships in that the attachment is emotionally addictive, abusive, one-sided or superficial. Leave a bad relationship immediately; you deserve better.

Instructions

Look for signs of emotional addiction in your relationship. A guy showing signs of emotional addiction to a girl feels incomplete when his paramour is absent, fails to have independent relationships, and has an identify based mostly on being in the relationship. Question what you are getting out of this kind of relationship and what keeps you tied to this guy. If your honest answers have more to do with your low self-esteem, fear of being alone, or feeling that no one could ever be fully attracted to you, you are in a bad relationship.

Recognize that a bad relationship is emotionally, physically or sexually abusive. Although anyone can occasionally lose his temper, a bad relationship has a predominant theme of put-downs and intimidation. In this case, you most likely are not tied to your guy out of love and respect but out of fear, low-self-esteem, or other unhealthy feelings.

Ask your friends if they believe your relationship is one-sided. Often, objective observers can give you more reliable information that you can gauge for yourself. If your guy is always just out-of-reach, does not ever discuss your future together, and gives you the impression he is looking for someone better, your attachment to him is one-sided. A healthy relationship is a 50-50 contract based on love, respect and compromise. If your partner manipulates you, or if you feel that you must be manipulated to give him what he wants, then you're in a bad relationship.

Compare your relationship to other relationships you have had, to healthy relationships your friends and family have, and to what your fantasy of a healthy relationship would be like. If, when examined in light of these comparisons, it appears that you and your guy do not discuss the future together as much, he has not introduced you to his friends or family as you have seen your friends and family do in their relationships, and the level of emotional intimacy is not as desirable as you would like, the relationship is likely superficial. Superficial relationships are bad relationships because they do not move forward.

Examine your feelings. In a healthy love relationship, you should have mostly good feelings being around the other person. If, when you think of your guy, you feel guilt, shame, anger, or tension, then the relationship is bad.

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