Emotional abuse may not leave bruises or draw blood, but its effects can be devastating and long lasting. The damage that is done to the mind and self-esteem as a result of emotional abuse can be very difficult to repair and requires a major effort on the part of the victim. When regaining respect for yourself after any amount of emotional abuse, there are some key points to remember. However, above all, it is most important to keep in mind that recovery is possible even it if is a long process that will have its ups and downs.
Instructions
- 1
Remove yourself from the abusive situation. Enlist a friend, church leader or the local police to help you make the cut if you feel threatened or powerless to do it on your own. Although the abuser may have you convinced that you deserve to be belittled, remember that there is no way you can heal when you are still being abused on a day-to-day basis.
2Start being honest with yourself. Do not give any more excuses for the abuser as to why he does it or why you think you might deserve such treatment. Look at your situation as dispassionately as possible and remind yourself of the facts when you feel yourself slipping into denial. The more you are honest with yourself, the faster you will learn to trust your instincts again.
3Focus on something you are good at and work on it. Part of regaining respect for yourself after emotional abuse involves remembering that you are not stupid and worthless. Cultivating something you feel you do well is a good way to regain confidence in your abilities and sense of self.
4Seek out a professional therapist you can connect with to help guide you on your individual journey back to self-respect. Emotional abuse plays havoc with your thought processes and although there is plenty you can do on a day-to-day basis to boost your self-esteem again, you will likely need a trained professional to help you determine self-destructive behavior and gauge where you are in the healing process.
5Nurture the healthy relationships in your life and surround yourself with people who are supportive to your healing process. This is a time when you need positive reinforcement, especially if you have been able to remove yourself from an abusive situation. Parents, children, teachers, religious leaders and neighbors are all examples of people who are on your side and can remind you through their interactions with you that you are worthy of respect. The more you maintain healthy relationships with others, the less power the opinion and voice of the abuser have.
6Find forgiveness. This does not mean that you have to absolve the abuser of the wrongs he committed, but you do need to find a place within yourself where you can let him and his words and opinions go and not let it all in anymore. Forgiveness also involves being kind to yourself for being human and susceptible to an insidious form of abuse. When you are able to look at your experience as a strengthening step, you will know you have finally arrived in a better place.
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