How to Move on When the Man You Love Is Gone

Recovering from a failed relationship is painful. It is often harder for a woman when her boyfriend or husband is out of the picture. When he moves away there is a greater sense of finality and fewer, if any, opportunities for reconciliation. However, breakups are a part of most women's adult lives and despite feelings of sadness, there are ways to overcome the grief when a love has left.

Instructions

Be realistic when looking at the past. It is easy in the grief of failed love to look at the past with rose-colored glasses. All the bad memories get buried beneath the nostalgia and longing for a relationship that did not survive. It's important to be honest with one's self about the true nature of the relationship. Reflect on the bad as well as the good, not to taint the memory, but to find solace in the truth. Observe the truth and accept the situation as it was, rather than turning it into a fantasy and then mourning the loss of it.

Seek friends and family. A support network is vital when the man in your life has left. Friends are great at pointing out all your redeeming qualities and building your recently bruised self-esteem. They also know wonderful distraction tricks such as ice cream and comedy movies. Just be careful not to overindulge because feelings of guilt can amplify the heartache you're already experiencing.

Find fun activities to keep busy. It's great to have down time, but during a breakup, silence is often an enemy. Silence lends itself to thought, which inevitably leads back to thoughts of the past. Pick up more hours at work, volunteer or join a sports club or group. Not only will these activities occupy your time, they are also great ways to meet new people and begin down the path of recovery.

Fight the urge to track him. When a boyfriend leaves, he becomes immensely more interesting in his absence. Not knowing leads women to search for answers to all of the questions they have about him. Is he happy? Is he dating someone new? Is his e-mail password still Hottie5000? These answers, while intriguing, will not help you recover. In fact, the more you find out about his new life, the less you are focused on your own. Choose to let him go -- that includes not reading his e-mails -- and put your energy into something that's worth it: you.

Grieve when it's necessary. Sometimes when a boyfriend, husband or lover is gone, their absence is the result of death. In this instance, simply letting go and moving on is not always realistic. In this case, support groups are good options that connect you with people undergoing a similar experience. Friends and family are also wonderful allies during times of tragedy because they listen and provide support.

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