Sunday, August 17, 2014

How to Forgive a Boyfriend for Lying and Cheating

Deception in all its forms is hurtful to everyone involved. The person who is deceived has a difficult time trusting again, and the person who has deceived will gain nothing from the deception. Sadly, lying and cheating on a lover are common deceptions. Whether the cheatee in the relationship decides to leave or remain in the union, there will need to be time for forgiveness and healing. You can forgive a lying and cheating boyfriend; however, the boyfriend needs to cooperate to achieve full forgiveness.

Instructions

    1

    Evaluate your reaction, remembering that you are not a victim in this situation. You will choose how you react to the events, and this reaction will dictate future actions. It is natural to be upset and irrational; however, a quick recovery from the anger is necessary to move forward with the conflict.

    2

    Tell the truth consistently. While you are not the liar or cheater in the relationship, telling the truth to your boyfriend will demonstrate to him how you would like to be treated. If the relationship is severed, continue to be honest with others as well as yourself. Denying and burying your feelings of hurt and anger will only cause them to get worse over time.

    3

    Schedule a meeting with your boyfriend whether or not you plan to maintain the relationship. At the meeting, ask him to grant you honest answers for whatever questions you present. If the relationship is over, this meeting brings closure. If the relationship is to continue, this communication meeting will redirect the union. Make your wishes clear to your boyfriend; be assertive in insisting on the truth in the future.

    4

    Look within yourself and your circle of closest friends or a counselor to begin to move past the deception. After speaking with your boyfriend, you will need to begin a personal journey. Talk through the events with your closest friends or a counselor to hear the situation out loud. Do not be afraid to ask why it happened, as others are able to see things differently than yourself. The ability to move past the hurt is within yourself with the help of friends or professional facilities.

    5

    Move forward with your boyfriend or new life without him and avoid looking to the past. While the past deception will creep up from time to time, avoid letting it control your current actions. Do not assume your boyfriend will cheat or lie again if he is a one-time offender, and certainly do not assume future boyfriends will be cheaters and liars.



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