How to Handle a Brain Washing Controlling Boyfriend

If you find yourself in a relationship with a brain-washing, controlling boyfriend you need to address the problem or it will inevitably get worse. Some men are so controlling they make decisions on every aspect of their girlfriends' lives, including what a woman wears, who she sees and what she does. If the manipulation and control get too bad the only option might be to leave him. However, by standing up for yourself and setting clear boundaries, you might be able to stop the controlling behavior. Counseling for both you and your boyfriend could help to pinpoint patterns of passive and aggressive behavior.

Instructions

1

Communicate with your partner about your concerns, and be specific. For instance, question him about his control over what you spend money on if this is a problem. Tell your boyfriend about your own needs and wants and try to set boundaries and come up with a compromise.

2

Stand up for yourself each time your boyfriend displays controlling behavior. For example, if he insists you both leave a party early but you are enjoying yourself and want to stay later, say so. Let him know you have an equal say in the relationship.

3

Review the situation after a few weeks. Discuss specific instances where you felt he was too controlling and listen to his responses.

4

Sign up to a self-esteem or self-confidence program if there is one available locally. Victims of bullying behavior often have confidence issues. Once you begin to value yourself highly you will not put up with manipulative tactics.

5

Talk to family and friends about the situation as they are often the first people to notice the abuse of power within a relationship. Get their feedback but decide what to do on your own.

6

Visit a relationship counselor, ideally with your boyfriend, if the situation does not improve. Counseling will explore the dynamics of your relationship and give you an opportunity to analyze your own reactions and expectations.

7

Leave your boyfriend if the relationship becomes abusive, on an emotional or physical level. Some forms of controlling behavior leave the victim depressed and sad. If you cannot be the person you really are, then it might be time to say goodbye and move on.

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