Breaking up is hard to do. Breaking up with a significant other that one has been living with is even tougher. Some things can make the awkward exercise of moving out a little easier. To make the process as painless as possible, establish what belongs to which party, set a time for the moving to take place and have mutual friends present. Be as accommodating as you can to your former partner.
Establishing Ownership of Property
This may sound simple, but it is often a point of contention. Couples that have broken up recently can be irrational about property and many other things. Avoid having a confrontation about who gets the clay ashtray you made together by taking time to talk about it beforehand. Often, neither party is really concerned with keeping these items except to exert their will over the other. By talking about it ahead of time, the competitive aspect is removed. Another bonus in making these concessions is that you are showing your new ex-partner that you aren't holding on to the relationship and are moving on.
Establishing a Time
Newly separated couples will quarrel over anything, including the time of the move. Don't let the process devolve into an argument over whose time is more valuable. Set aside a mutually acceptable time that generously allows for the move and any surprises that may take extra time. Both parties will want to get this over with and be willing to set some time aside sooner rather than later. Problems arise when there is a perception of disregarding the other's schedule.
Have Mutual Friends Present
From Socrates to Pavlov, experts have long known that a person will be less inclined to embarrass themselves when in the company of people they respect. Although couples often fight in front of friends, they more often than not choose to air their dirty laundry in private. In this case, with friends present and no future private time to argue, issues can be avoided all together. It also helps to have the extra hands.
Be Accommodating
Be nice. If there is a matter of dispute, don't pursue it unless it is very important to you. When establishing private property ownership and the time for the move, do everything in your power to make sure the other is happy. The relationship is over. You have already shown to each other that you can argue and that is likely why you're breaking up. Leave on a high note.
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