How to Cope With a Long Distance Relationship in the Military

Service members often spend long periods of time away from home, whether it's for training exercises or actual deployments. Long distance relationships can be difficult enough, but if your loved one is constantly in danger it can make everything even more stressful. You can still culminate a loving relationship long distance, but it does take some dedication.

Instructions

Do not place blame on the deploying service member. In most instances, the military person does not have a choice whether or not to deploy and in most instances would much rather stay home. If you spend the entire time the service member is away complaining about how you were left alone then you will only wind up making everything more difficult for the two of you. Trust that the deployed person is already going through enough stress and does not need you to make it even harder.

Stay in contact with your loved one. Some military installations have special programs allowing service members to periodically call loved ones at home for free, even if the service member is temporarily stationed somewhere remote. E-mail is a fantastic means by which to stay connected to your deployed love one, and you should make a point of sending mail out once in a while because most service members agree that although e-mail is great, nothing beats an actual handwritten letter or a care package.

Stay upbeat and positive when you do get a chance to talk with your loved one. This is certainly not to say that you should be fake, but you should not make the conversation all about how miserable you are. Remember that the service member is not in any position to be able to lift the burden you feel, and in fact may be dealing with life-threatening situations daily. The fact that you're a little lonely may pale in comparison to what your loved one is going through. This is your time to be strong and to help your loved one by holding down the fort at home, so to speak.

Don't cheat. The temptation may be great, especially when you combine the loneliness and frustration you feel with your loved one being gone, but if you find the urge to play the field too great then break off the relationship with the military person before you venture out and start dating other people. Remember that your loved one is serving the country and risking life and limb in order to grant you the freedoms you enjoy. Cheating on someone in this position simply because you're lonely is a really low thing to do.

Join a support group and rely on your friends and family until your loved one can return. Most military installations offer social groups for people who have deployed loved ones, and you may find that joining one of these groups introduces you to many other people in the same situation as you. Remember that you should still go out and have fun while your loved one is deployed because you don't want to spend your days brooding over how lonely you are. Finding people in the same situation as you can be a big help.

Stay busy! Look for volunteer work, get your house cleaned out, or take a few classes. The time will go by quicker if you are engaged in a variety of activities.

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