How to Get a Grown Daughter With Kids to Drop a Loser

It is difficult to watch your children struggle in a less-than-functional relationship, especially when they have children of their own. While you want what's best for those who are close to you, convincing someone to abandon a relationship is often easier said than done.

Instructions

Identify a safe space to talk. Choose a spot where you and your daughter can speak without disruption. The chosen locale should be a place where your daughter's children and her partner will not interrupt.

Prepare a script. Mentally outline the things that you want to address with your daughter. If you are prepared, you will be able to articulate yourself better and are less likely to forget important points you want to make. You can write out the list If that makes you more comfortable.

Be specific. You'll have to say more than "He's a bad guy." Specific points make more of an impact and are more likely to resonate with your daughter.

Be empathetic. Tell your daughter that you understand her point of view. Avoid being too aggressive. If your daughter feels she is being attacked, she may get defensive, causing the conversation to shut down.

Be an active listener. If your daughter has counterpoints or questions, listen and calmly respond. She may present new information and reveal things about her relationship you were unaware of.

Stay calm. Don't raise your voice or lose your temper. Getting angry may bring a constructive conversation to a halt. If you react hastily, you may say something you'll regret later.

Offer your support. Tell your daughter that you are there for her. Explain that you recognize the difficulties she may encounter upon leaving her partner, but that you have her interests and the interests of her children in mind and will support her in whatever way is needed.

Keep the kids out of it. Don't use the children as pawns or make them choose sides. Avoid prying young children for information unless you feel that their well-being is being threatened and they are withholding information needed to protect them.

Be honest. Don't use schemes or underhanded means to get your daughter to leave her partner. Be truthful and let her know that you are genuinely concerned.

Suggest that your daughter see a professional therapist or relationship counselor. If you cannot convince your daughter to leave her partner, maybe another person can.

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