Comparison of the Stages of Grief to the Breakup of a Relationship

Dealing with the end of a relationship can involve grief very similar to that felt after the death of a loved one or the diagnosis of a terminal illness. The breakup of a relationship is a major life change that can be very emotional and can involve the same stages of the Kbler-Ross grief cycle: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

When faced with the death of a loved one or the diagnosis of a terminal illness, it's often too much to take in. There's a sense that it can't be true. When a relationship ends, you may be in a similar state as you hope your former partner may change his mind. The denial may be even stronger in this setting, because you know it's physically possible for him to do so.

A breakup can cause you to feel angry and resentful.

In both the death of a loved one and the end of a relationship, someone has been left behind to start over. The pain over this can lead to anger, resentment and feelings of abandonment -- feelings directed at your former partner or at others.

Grief over a breakup can make you beg for another chance.

Someone who is diagnosed with a terminal illness may bargain with life or with God, promising to do better if only he can have his health back. Likewise, if one has lost a loved one to death, one might beg for her return, even when he knows it can't happen. In the case of a breakup, one might beg his former partner to take him back, promise to change or do things he feels could result in reconciliation.

Depression may set in as one realizes things are truly over.

Upon the realization that there is no going back -- whether it's death, a terminal illness or the end of a relationship -- depression may set in. This can be a time of quiet healing and reflection, but it's important to seek help from loved ones or a therapist in the case of powerful feelings of despair or a sense that life is pointless.

In this stage, you achieve peace with the situation and can begin to move on from the stages of grief. In the case of bereavement or a failed relationship, you may still wish to spend some time alone before trying to find love again.

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