Relationship trouble can creep up at any time, whether you've been dating someone for six weeks or have been married to him for 20 years. Rocky relationships don't get sour overnight and are usually the result of several underlying issues that have festered for weeks, months or even years.
While at times it may seem hopeless, it's almost never too late to salvage a romantic relationship and get it back on track. By employing a few different strategies and boundaries, you and your partner can leave the drama behind and make your rocky relationship better.
Instructions
- 1
Open up all the lines of communication between you and your partner. Explain to your partner what you are looking for from him and the relationship as a whole and how you think that can be achieved. Allow him to tell you what he is looking for and how he feels the relationship can be improved. Calmly discuss the areas of your relationship that you both feel are lacking and try to come to a conclusion on how to make those areas better.
2Listen intently when your partner speaks and mirror back to her what your partner says. For example, if your partner tells you, "I need more space; I feel like I'm being smothered," say something like, "So, I think what you're saying is that you want more time to yourself -- is that right?" Listening to your partner can help you gain a better understanding of her needs, while mirroring back what she says can help both of you make sure that you correctly understand what she wants you to know.
3Treat your partner how you want to be treated. The Golden Rule should apply to all people in your life, most of all to your romantic partner. If you want more affection and attention from your partner, give him those things. If you want to spend more time with him, clear your schedule so that you are free when he is. Conversely, don't do things to your partner that you wouldn't want him to do to you, such as keep secrets, lie or be disrespectful. Remaining kind and civil to each other at all times can sometimes be the saving grace of a relationship.
4Set boundaries and limits for any arguments you may have. Many couples do irreversible damage to their relationships during fights by name-calling, falsely accusing each other or saying things that they know are hurtful. Agree beforehand not to resort to such low blows and to stick to the topic at hand and not bring up any unresolved issues. Also agree to never go to bed angry. Many couples who sleep on an issue wake up the next morning feeling more relaxed and can sometimes come to terms in the morning.
5Show and tell your partner your love every day. Think about the personal qualities that you each possess and what attracted you to each other in the first place. Explicitly tell each other that you love one another. Do small things such as leaving love notes, taking your partner to a favorite restaurant or renting a favorite movie.
6Attend couple's counseling if you both feel it would help. A trained or licensed couple's counselor or therapist can provide a couple with an unbiased outsider's opinion of the relationship and can also offer effective strategies for keeping the spark alive. Counseling sessions also can provide a couple with a "safe zone" where they can express their true feelings and concerns without fear of repercussion.
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