Childhood experiences can make it difficult to have healthy adult relationships. Breaking a bad relationship bond can be done if both people are willing to examine their role in the relationship and work on relating to one another in a more positive manner. However, sometimes a relationship can be so toxic that the best thing both people can do is part ways and take positive lessons from the relationship.
Instructions
- 1
Identify the qualities that cause the relationship to be bad. Before you can break a bad relationship pattern, you must know exactly what problem(s) need to be fixed before you can address each one with an appropriate solution. Identifying the bad qualities in your relationship requires both you and your partner to conduct an honest inquiry, alone and together, into what you both bring to the table that is contaminating your relationship. If you are in a codependent relationship (e.g., your partner is an addict and you enable the addiction) it may be hard to admit how you contribute to the negative dynamic, but telling yourself the truth about the relationship is key. You cannot change what you fail to acknowledge.
2Talk to your significant other and determine whether the bad parts of your relationship can be fixed. A bad relationship is not always doomed; if the two people involved desire to change their behavior and their way of relating to one another, the problems they are experiencing can be a growth opportunity. However, fixing a bad relationship takes commitment, and if both parties are not united in their desire to remain together, separating may be a better option. Seeking assistance from a therapist or another independent party can be helpful when trying to maintain the relationship while working through problems.
3End the relationship if you decide that the bad aspects of your relationship cannot be fixed. There is no magic trick for ending a bad relationship other than to do it sooner, rather than later, and take one day at a time. Allow yourself to grieve for the parts of the relationship that made you happy while remembering the aspects of the relationship that you do not desire to repeat in future relationships. Do not enter into another relationship until your feelings from the prior relationship are resolved. When you do begin another relationship, take things slowly and pay attention to signs. Red flags often appear in the beginning of a relationship when it is easier to avoid a bad bond, rather than enduring a relationship plagued by problems and an ensuing break-up.
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