How to Promote Effective Communication in Relationships

Relationships are built around communication, and promoting effective communication in a relationship begins with your ability to listen. Listening is a skill and one that requires that you practice often. Active listening is a process through which you are listening to another person and working with them to understand what they are saying.

Instructions

Remove the distractions, or in some cases, remove yourselves from the distractions. Whether it is the television, computer, children or pets, these distractions work like static on your radio to keep you from hearing what the other is trying to say. Find a quiet room away from everything if you are unable to turn off the distractions.

Listen fully to everything that the other person has to say without interrupting and without preprocessing your response. This should become habitual after enough experience, but initially you will find that you have to force yourself to listen. Preprocessing your response occurs when you begin thinking about what you are going to say while they are still talking. This is the same as ignoring them, and can lead to you missing vital pieces of information.

Provide positive responses to the conversation while they are speaking. You can do this without ignoring them by providing simple responses such as a nodded head or a softly spoken word of affirmation. Avoid focusing too much on exactly which response to use, because doing so will take your attention off of their words. The idea is to let them know that you are actively listening and to give them the feeling that they can speak openly to you.

Repeat what they said in your own words. Give a broad statement about their issue from your point of view. This gives them the opportunity to clear up any misunderstandings and tells them that you fully grasp what they are trying to tell you. Let them correct any misunderstandings.

Ask questions that are pertinent to what they are saying. This lets them know that you are interested and actively thinking about a solution to their problem. It also allows you to clarify anything that you are uncertain about.

Examine their responses as well as their demeanor. Look for signs of emotional sensitivity linked to certain elements in their speech. These emotional elements can provide clues as to the severity of the issue as well as point to other issues entirely, should the problem that they are coming to you with not be the real issue pressing them. If they seem to be too emotional for the problem that they are describing, it is possible that they may be focusing their frustrations from one part of their life toward the issue that they are coming to you with.

Decide on a proper course of action and let them know your decision. Be aware that sometimes people do not mean for you to solve their issues, but instead intend just for you to hear them; then your decision should be to hear them out thoroughly.

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