How to Deal With Denial in a Breakup

When a relationship breaks up, it takes time for the partners involved to accept that the relationship is over. One or both partners can struggle with denial, which makes it more difficult to recover from the breakup enough to start a separate life. If you or your partner are dealing with denial in a breakup, the best thing to do is to find a way to prove to yourself that things are really and truly over.

Instructions

Make sure both partners know that the relationship is truly over. Often, denial comes when someone feels too hurt to face the facts. If your partner is in denial, let her know gently and politely that you have no plans to regenerate the relationship. If you are struggling with denial yourself, ask your partner to confirm that there is no chance of getting back together.

Talk with friends and family. Third-party observers often see a breakup situation more clearly than those involved, and a good friend can help someone who's struggling with denial to see reason.

Separate your life from your partner's. If you were in a long-term relationship, your lives probably have overlapped significantly. Reclaiming your own life is a big step on the road to accepting that things are over.

Go out. If you and your partner were used to going out every weekend, it won't help to sit around hoping he'll call. Find new friends and even dates, and make new schedules and routines.

Avoid checking in with your ex-partner constantly. It's fine to remain friends after a breakup, but it's also fine to have a period of little contact while you deal with denial and get your life together. Relying too much on your ex-partner is a crutch when it comes to dealing with denial.

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