Wednesday, August 30, 2017

How to Accept Rejection in Love

One inescapable truth you will learn in life is finding out not everyone you love will love you in return. Ultimately you will face rejection, whether real or perceived. How you recover from this disheartening experience will define your self-esteem, or lack thereof, because it takes the biggest blow in the aftermath. Ultimately, how you deal with this rejection has more to do with you than the other person, and the most important lesson you will learn from this experience is that you are completely valuable as a person with or without your love being reciprocated.

Instructions

    1

    Don't beat yourself up. Even if the one you love has chosen someone else over you, this doesn't have to define you as a person. It's entirely possible the one you wanted simply wanted other things. That doesn't automatically define anything else as "better" than you, and in fact may have little to do with you at all.

    2

    Don't beat up the other person, either. Even though rejection is very easy to take personally, more often than not the rejection is more about their needs and wants than it is about your perceived flaws or unworthiness. It's not an attack on you. Hate or anger does nothing more than continue the bonds with a relationship that has outlived its usefulness.

    3

    Accept that love is not a debt. No matter how much you may have invested into the relationship or that other person, he doesn't owe you love in return. If the feelings are not there, it's best that the relationship end.

    4

    Let go. This may mean changing some significant life patterns, but you have to stop investing time and energy (and thought) into a person who has made it clear the feelings are not reciprocated. Hanging on to a non-existent relationship by hanging onto the heartbreak or hope will only drag the pain out past its natural limits.

    5

    Keep your focus on the bigger picture. Rejection hurts, a lot, and it may be tough to see that light at the end of the tunnel. As contrite as it sounds, time does heal the wound and it is generally the only thing that can give you true perspective on the matter.

    6

    Fill your time with things that will help you feel better about yourself. Esteem is built by accomplishment, not whatever you may perceive from any relationships. Use this time to learn something new, try something different and make you a more rounded individual.

    7

    Regain your sense of power and security by taking charge of your life. Write down a list of personal goals you want to achieve and refer to them frequently through the day to keep yourself centered on activities that you can control.



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