Thursday, June 27, 2019

How to Grieve the End of a Relationship

Grief is a natural human reaction to loss, including the end of a relationship. Whether you are dealing with a difficult breakup, loss of a friendship or a divorce, you will experience a range of feelings as you process the loss. While it is important to allow time for the process of grieving to take place, you can and should take steps to do the difficult work of grieving.

Instructions

    1

    Take stock of your feelings about the end of the relationship. Your feelings may be conflicted, as you may feel both sadness and relief, or anger and fear. Your feelings will change as time passes. Write in a journal about your feelings, either writing freely about your feelings or doing targeted self-reflection. You may choose to ask yourself questions, such as what you were like before, during and after the relationship and what you have learned about yourself. Don't censor yourself, and make sure to recognize each feeling you have.

    2

    Engage in a ritual or other formal means of acknowledging your loss. While the end of a relationship may not have the formal rituals of grief -- like a funeral -- available to you, you can replace that ritual and create your own. The ritual may be as simple as lighting a candle and saying goodbye, or may involve packing up your ex-partner's belongings or pictures of both of you to store or get rid of. When you perform the act, visualize yourself moving forward into a new place of peace.

    3

    Admit and accept the relationship is over. This can be difficult to do, so it is helpful to distance yourself from your ex-partner in the beginning, even if you remain friendly. Practice going through your day without him. Remove his phone number from your cellphone, if necessary, or hide him on Facebook. Don't ask mutual friends for updates on how he's doing. The more you separate from him, the easier it will be to process the end of the relationship.

    4

    Explore your life without her. You have moved through most of the grieving process by now, although you may still feel pangs of sorrow or loss. Continue to maintain healthy eating, sleeping and exercise habits and remain social. Begin to look at what it means to no longer be in that relationship, and ask yourself what you want to do next. Consider if and when you might be ready to date again. Evaluate your progress, but go easy on yourself.



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