Opening Yourself to Love Again After a Past Hurt

After a major heartbreak, your world may feel shattered, making it difficult to get back out there and look for love again. A bad ending to an important relationship isnt the end of your love life forever, however, and you can learn to love again. Evaluating the past and following a few strategies will enable you to move forward in this part of your life.

Having experienced a negative period in terms of relationships, you now have more knowledge about what you want and dont want from a partner. Use this experience to set boundaries in terms of what you expect and whats acceptable from a new partner. For example, you may now know more about the kind of behavior that upsets you. Once youve established boundaries, youre better able to make these clear to partners and walk away if the boundaries are crossed.

When youve experienced heartbreak, it can be tempting to seek a partner especially soon afterward who makes you feel protected or even to get revenge on your previous partner. This may not be the best move however, since this rebound relationship will be more about neediness than empowerment. Instead, remember that theres no need to rush straight into a new relationship. When you do date again, do it because youre interested in your new partner.

Sometimes relationships go awry because of a communication failure at the heart of them, as couples are unable to say whats wrong and what needs to change. Learn that in future relationships, new communication skills may need to be employed to keep the partnership strong. For example, learning not to be accusatory in discussions is a step forward.

Another temptation is to enter a new relationship with baggage, both emotional and in terms of how you view your new partner. Ridding yourself of baggage is a key method of getting over your past problems and beginning anew. Dont enter a new relationship until youre sure the emotional scars from the last are no longer raw. Also, try to restrain yourself from comparing new partners to the one who hurt you this can have negative consequences.

The failure of your past relationship can be due to a multitude of factors. Sometimes understanding what these were can help you to prepare for the warning signs next time and ultimately give you extra confidence when heading into new relationships. You can help yourself identify issues by creating a list of problems from your last relationship and then analyzing what you could do if they occur in the future.

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