How to Cope With My Boyfriend's Infidelity

If your boyfriend has cheated on you, you're probably asking yourself --- and him --- a million questions in an effort to make sense of what's happened to your relationship. Infidelity raises a ton of uncertainty and pain. However, if both you and your boyfriend are committed and willing to work through this difficult time, it is possible to look at the situation in-depth and eventually move forward together.

Instructions

Seek professional help. Relationship counselors aren't meant just for married couples. You and your boyfriend are going through an extremely difficult time, and you may not have all of the answers. It's possible that you'll benefit from seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. You and your boyfriend can attend sessions together, but you also may want to meet one-on-one with a counselor in order to discuss your personal feelings, emotions and concerns.

Uncover additional problems. Unfortunately, infidelity often points to a deeper problem. While being the cause of brand-new relationship problems, it's also the symptom of existing ones. If you're truly going to heal your relationship, you'll need to uncover all of the issues above and beyond the infidelity. This can be hard since it often means accepting that you've made mistakes as well, which is a difficult pill to swallow when you're already dealing with being betrayed.

Pay attention to red flags. While some relationships are salvageable and some men can, in fact, change permanently and for the better, you'll need to recognize certain red flags that could mean that you're in a bad relationship, aside from the infidelity itself. If your boyfriend is abusive, either physically, emotionally or mentally, you should get out of the relationship. Some men actually feel that cheating is acceptable --- if this is the case, you won't ever be confident that you're in a committed relationship. Also, if your boyfriend won't take responsibility for his actions, you will have a very difficult time working through your problems together.

Consider breaking up. If you're unable to work past the infidelity because your boyfriend's not making enough of an effort to earn back your trust, a breakup may be inevitable. However, deciding it's best to break up doesn't necessarily mean that you no longer love your boyfriend. To heal as quickly as possible from a breakup, make a clean break and cut all contact, at least until you're feeling whole again.

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