How to End a Verbally Abusive Relationship

Unlike in a physically abusive relationship, the victim in a verbally abusive relationship shows no outward signs of injury and may not believe she is in any real danger. However, it's best to end a verbally abusive relationship, not only to protect your self-esteem and mental health but also because there is a high correlation between verbal abuse and eventual physical abuse. The goal of most abusers is control over their victims. Abusers who find verbal threats and put-downs ineffective will often resort to physical abuse as a means of regaining control.

Instructions

Identify and label verbally abusive situations. Do not be reluctant to label someone's words as "abuse." Don't make excuses such as "my boyfriend is just really stressed out right now" or "I probably did something to deserve it." As long as you continue to rationalize, internalize and place blame on yourself, you won't label situations appropriately. Once you can definitively say, "This is abuse and I don't deserve it," you will be able to start taking steps to get out of the relationship. Some signs of verbal abuse are name-calling, threats, intense mood swings, repetitive abuse and apology, and twisting your words to cause strife. Others include making derogatory remarks about appearance, intelligence or worth; accusing you of cheating or wrongdoing without reason or evidence; and blaming you for things that are irrational or outside your control.

Create a support network. Often a victim's self-esteem dwindles to the point where it is almost impossible to stand up for himself alone. Talk to friends, relatives or a counselor. Explain you are thinking about leaving and ask for their support. You will need to be around people who are uplifting and strong-willed before and after ending the relationship. If you go it alone, you may find it too difficult to escape from the mental and emotional control of your abuser. If you are living with your abuser, you will need a new place to stay until you can get back on your feet. Ask to stay with friends or family.

Take possession of any belongings before breaking up with your abuser. If you live together, have your furniture and other things removed while he or she out of the house.

Avoid in-person contact when breaking up with your abuser. Write a letter, send an email or even use a text message to say you no longer wish to be together. Don't feel obligated to provide a long, detailed account of why you are leaving; that will only cause your abuser to try to argue with you over your reasons.

Cut off all contact. Have your abuser's number blocked on your phone, and block emails and social networking site messages. If you see him in social situations, try to leave as soon as possible. The longer you go with no contact, the higher your chances of not falling back into the relationship.

File a restraining order if your abuser refuses to leave you alone. If you are not familiar with the court system, you may need to have an attorney help you with this step. However, there are many nonprofit agencies throughout the country that will help you file the necessary documents for free.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to ...
www.audible.com Home Self Development Relationships
Download The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond by Patricia Evans, narrated by Mary Kae Irvin digital audio book. Get the
How to End a Relationship - Personal Development - Think
thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship
How to End a Relationship. Photo via Erik Clausen. Breaking up with someone you love can be one of the toughest emotional struggles youll go through.
How To Leave A Verbally Abusive Husband LIVESTRONG.COM
www.livestrong.com Verbal Abuse
Mar 15, 2011 How to Leave a Verbally Abusive Husband. If your husband is verbally abusive to you, it is damaging to your self-esteem and can be frightening and
How to Cope With a Verbally Abusive Husband eHow
www.ehow.com Marriage Marriage & Resolving Conflict
Verbal abuse can take many forms. It is much harder to identify than physical abuse but can still be very damaging. A husband who calls you names, swears, screams or ...
How to Handle a Verbally Abusive Spouse Marriage Families.com
www.families.com/blog/how-to-handle-a-verbally-abusive-spouse
A certain amount of verbal conflict is inevitable in a marriage relationship, and it would be unrealistic to expect otherwise. However, certain bound
The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to recognize it and how to ...
www.barnesandnoble.com/w/verbally-abusive-relationship-patricia...
In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the bestselling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it.
How to Recognize a Potentially Abusive Relationship: 13 Steps
www.wikihow.com Relationship Issues Domestic Violence
How to Recognize a Potentially Abusive Relationship. Have you had a disturbing experience in your current relationship? One that made you wonder what might
How to Stop a Verbally Abusive Husband eHow
www.ehow.com Marriage Marriage & Resolving Conflict
Verbal abuse can create just as much damage as physical abuse. Even if it does not take the form of yelling, verbal abuse can occur when a partner mutters spiteful or ...
Symptoms Of A Verbally And Emotionally Abusive Relationship ...
www.livestrong.com Abusive Relationships
Mar 21, 2011 Symptoms of a Verbally and Emotionally Abusive Relationship. Problems happen in every relationship however, there comes a point where
Abusive Behaviour; How To Stop Verbal Abuse From An Angry
shazwellyn.hubpages.com Explore Politics and Social Issues
Ever suffered abusive behaviour from an angry customer who won't calm down? This article draws upon an experience. Lessons are learned in anger management as a
Get Out of a Verbally & Emotionally Abusive Relationship - YouTube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV4zyrBN-hg
Listen to my words ladies. I paid the price for not getting out sooner AND knowing the warning signs. Don't be me. This goes for Christian women too. God ...
How to Deal with a Verbally Abusive Husband or Boyfriend ...
www.healthyplace.com/abuse/verbal-abuse/how-to-deal-with-a...
Had enough of your verbally abusive husband or verbally abusive boyfriend? Heres how to deal with verbal abuse from husband or boyfriend.
How to Decide When to End a Long-term Relationship
www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/08/how-to-decide-when-to-end-a-long...
Relationships are among of the most complex aspects of our lives, particularly long-term relationships such as marriage. Your relationships can elevate you to new ...
How To Get Over An Abusive Relationship In 5 Steps
ezinearticles.com Relationships Domestic Violence
Aug 18, 2011 If you need to know how to get over an abusive relationship, then it's crucial that you read this article now. All over the world, at least 1 in 3 women ...
3 Ways to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship
www.wikihow.com Relationship Issues Breaking Up
How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship. Ending a controlling or manipulative relationship can be even harder than being in one. Though you may
Does an emotionally abusive person feel a need to find closure at ...
wiki.answers.com Categories Health Mental Health
Does an emotionally abusive person feel a need to find closure at the end of a relationship?
Emotionally Abusive Relationship - How to Break the Cycle of ...
www.ignitepoint.com/?Emotional_Abusers&articleid=3126602
Have you ever noticed how emotional abusers dive in with such gusto seeking that element of vulnerability within you? Read on to understand their impotence longing ...
When and How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship
www.buzzle.com/articles/when-and-how-to-end-a-controlling-or...
Dec 26, 2011 When and How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship Let's talk about love... Let's hear the painful melody that chimes deep inside your heart.
The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being
www.barnesandnoble.com/w/emotionally-abusive-relationship-beverly...
The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional
Married to a physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive man ...
www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/c/question/991790/100150
My husband has bipolar disorder, and he is not only abusive verbally and emotionally, but he is physically abusive, as well. He scares me, and I called 911 duri...
How to Deal with a Verbally Abusive Boyfriend - YouTube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJxFSf4meJ0
See what you can learn on the go with the new Howcast App for iPhone and iPad: http://bit.ly/11ZmFOu Watch more Bad Romance videos: http://www.howcast.com ...
How To Get On With Your Life After Ending a BPD Relationship
ezinearticles.com Health and Fitness Mental Health
Oct 22, 2010 Do you find yourself after a BPD Relationship wondering how can you get on with your life? Had your ex left you with a broken heart asking yourself what ...