How to Start Mutuality in a Relationship

Successful, long-lasting romantic relationships are often based on mutual respect and caring between the two people involved. If you and your partner see each other as equals, you should both be putting equal effort into the relationship. This often takes time to develop, and in the beginning one partner may be doing significantly more than the other in terms of keeping the relationship going. Starting mutuality in a relationship takes some time, patience and communication.

Instructions

Ask your partner about opinions when making plans or scheduling something. Asking "what do you want to do" and not accepting a noncommittal answer can get your partner to be more assertive with his opinions and not as passive. Likewise, you should make your own suggestions and stick to them if your partner is the one who usually decides everything.

Suggest your partner do certain actions. For example, instead of calling her every night, tell her to call you the next night. If she doesn't, don't call her. This makes it clear that your partner needs to put in more effort if she wants to spend time with you.

Split the check when out on dates or take turns paying. This helps take the financial burden off of one of you and helps further develop mutuality between the two of you.

Trust your partner with personal information, secrets, fears, thoughts and emotions. Showing this trust makes your partner more likely to trust you in return. Equal trust is vital in developing mutuality.

Talk to your partner honestly when concerns about mutuality arise, such as if you feel you are doing more in the relationship than your partner is. Speak on your own feelings and avoid talking about your partner's actions. This makes your partner more likely to respond in a nondefensive way, and you can make progress together as a couple. Likewise, you should listen openly to your partner's response.

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