Communication is key for a dating relationship to work. If you can't talk honestly and openly with each other, the relationship is unlikely to last for any extended period of time. It is sometimes challenging to bring up relationship issues because of worry about how you will be perceived -- you may be trying to provide constructive criticism on an issue but the other person takes it as a personal attack. Approaching your boyfriend without sounding like you're complaining requires empathy and a considerate tone of voice.
Instructions
- 1
Ask your boyfriend's opinion about the issue you wish to talk about. For example, if you don't think you spend enough time together, ask him if he feels that way or not. This turns the discussion into a mutual conversation instead of a one-way lecture.
2Explain how the issue makes you feel instead of his actions specifically. Do not state, "you need to stop doing this" but instead state, "I feel neglected when this occurs." The tone you use differentiates a constructive conversation from a complaint. Speak in a friendly tone that is not accusatory.
3Stress the things you love about your boyfriend and detail the things you enjoy about him and your relationship together. Giving as much positive feedback as negative dampens perceptions of complaining. Be genuine, or this could sound manipulative or insincere.
4Tell your boyfriend that you don't intend for the issue up for discussion to be construed as a complaint. Sometimes the direct approach is the best one and expressing your concern that you don't want to be perceived as a complainer can help prevent your boyfriend from seeing you that way.
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