Relationships Between Couples

Relationships between couples have fueled countless poems, novels, love songs and motion pictures. From the crib, we are raised on fairy tales about princesses who are rescued by charming princes to live happily ever after. Perhaps that, in part, explains why less-than-perfect relationships are hard to handle. There are several ways to improve your relationship. Accepting that no relationship is ever perfect is the first step. If you need help, seek professional couple counseling.

Avoid mind reading. Assuming you know what your partner thinks or feels without asking him is one of the most common communication problems between couples. No matter how long you've been together, you will never be able to read his mind. Learn to ask him about his thoughts and feelings and to say what you need or expect from him in return. Also, actively listen. Not being heard is a common complaint between couples. Rather than focusing on how you are going to respond, listen carefully to what is being said. This helps prevent misinterpretations and misunderstandings. To make sure you have heard your partner correctly, try repeating back to him what he said and ask him if you have heard him accurately before responding to his comment.

Really know your partner. Get to know what your partner likes and dislikes --- in general and in terms of sexual intimacy. Be open and vulnerable with each other. Cultivate unconditional positive regard and a nonjudgmental attitude toward her. Trust is one of the strongest bonds you can build into your relationship. Keep the romance alive. No matter how long you are together or how old you get, continue to woo each other. Send intimate text messages, plan romantic weekends away, and plan date nights. It is important to have fun together. Make your date nights as spontaneous and fun as possible. Try new things, eat at different restaurants, and take turns planning your date nights.

Build in "me" time. Many couples mistakenly believe they have to spend every free minute together or else the honeymoon is over. Most relationships start out with an infatuation phase --- when you seemingly can't get enough of each other. When this wanes and people find themselves longing to have some time on their own, they assume they have fallen out of love. Not so. Real love calls for balance between quality time spent together and "me" time. As long as the relationship is being sufficiently fed and nurtured, couples should build in time to pursue their own interests on a regular basis. Allow each other to spend time with friends, play sports or pursue hobbies. Rather than resenting each other for this timeout, it will give you a renewed appreciation for time spent together.

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