How Does a Relationship Survive Hard Times?

Rarely does an intimate relationship start off badly. Almost every relationship starts on a positive note, with the couple attracted to each other for whatever reason. Each person can spend endless amounts of time trying to impress each other, show the good side and hide what could be perceived as "bad" habits. But at some point and time there will be conflict. Sometimes that conflict can manifest in unexpected ways, like temper tantrums, silent treatments and end-of-the-world statements said after the smallest of conflicts. So how do you get through those tough times and preserve the relationship? This article will explain some areas to explore when you find yourself in those hard times.

Stress is often the go-to word when arguments and conflicts seem to arise out of thin air. Everyone goes through stress, yet some people just haven't had a good outlet. But when a couple becomes intimate, it can seem like one person feels like they can "vent" to the other. But that venting doesn't always come out as venting.
Look into any major life changes since before things got rough and see if that could be the source of the stress. Did your partner get a new job with more responsibility? Are you not spending the time you normally would? If you are the aggressor in the conflict, have your normal stress outlets been halted, i.e. the guy's night out or bowling night? Life changes can change attitudes. By examining those changes you can confront them instead of each other.

Religion can play a part when it comes to getting out of the hard times in a relationship. If you normally go to church or participate in a Bible study or Koran study and it hasn't been happening, you may want to pick it up where you left off. It can be easy to deviate from a spiritual base with the busy lifestyles we lead. If you have relied on a spiritual or religious lifestyle to keep yourselves afloat, getting back to it can possibly bring you closer together. Don't be afraid to change your religious settings, either. Simply attending any church on Sunday doesn't necessarily mean your marriage will get better. Look to finding one that suits your needs and encourages a similar growth in your spiritual life. For example, if one of you grew up Catholic and are attending a Baptist church simply because your partner is doing it, you may create more rough times than you started out with in your relationship!

Couples therapy is also an option, whether you are married or just dating. Keep in mind that the therapist isn't there to take sides other than the side of the relationship. Don't go into therapy with a you versus them mentality. It doesn't always pay to be right or the victor in an argument, so no need to pay a therapist money to have the same attitude.

Life, as you know, isn't always easy and it helps to go through it with a partner. Just because you hit rough times doesn't mean it's time to give it up. As long as you are fairly healthy and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, examining where you are, where you were and where you want to be can get your relationship past the obstacles and back into the bliss. All the little steps count. Remember that when all else fails, go back to your roots. What connnected you with that person in the first place? What does/did your partner do to make you happy? Sometimes the only way to move forward is to start at the beginning.

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