If it weren't for the inevitable arguments and conflict, dating and relationships would be all happiness, fun and good times. Unfortunately we do not live in a world where this is possible. Experiencing conflict with your significant other can create all sorts of emotions between you. You may feel as if there is nothing in the world that can fix the situation and a breakup is inevitable. This is not necessarily the case. If you both take some fundamental steps toward resolving your conflict, the passionate make up scenario should not be too far away.
Chill Out
If you notice voices starting to rise and emotions boiling, it is time to walk away for awhile. Ask for some time alone to cool down and evaluate the situation. Your partner might be relieved by this suggestion as he might need some quiet time as well. Practice calming techniques you know work for you, such as going on a walk, looking at the sky, practicing deep breathing, praying, meditating or writing.
Listen
Listen to what your partner is saying. Let her talk about her feelings and get out everything she needs to say. Do not interrupt her. Listen and try to understand.
The importance of "I"
It is important to stick with "I" statements. If you say the word, "you" too much, it will sound like an accusation. The other person will rightfully become defensive. For example, your partner will understand you better if you say, "I got jealous because it looked like flirting to me," instead of, "You were flirting with him!" It is important to recognize the difference and adapt your conversation accordingly.
Ask and Repeat
Make sure you understand what it is the other person is saying. Ask her what she is feeling and repeat your understanding of it. For example, if you are unsure why she is mad you thought she was flirting ask calmly, "Are you upset that I thought you were flirting or that I have a problem with flirting?" If she then says, "I just don't see the problem with harmless flirting with friends. If you trust me it shouldn't matter." Repeat your understanding of it, "You feel that flirting is not cheating and being okay with it would mean I trust that you won't cheat?"
Never Say Never...or Always
Do not tell the person they always or never do something and, at the same time, do not say you always or never do something. For example, don't say, "I never flirt with others," "I'm never jealous," "You're always jealous," or "You always flirt with others."
Don't Bring Up the Past
Stick to the present. Do not bring up other issues or past problems. This will only cause a second or third fight.
Admit When You're Wrong
Admit when you are wrong. Usually both parties are wrong or simply misunderstand. For example, in the above scenario, he could say he should have discussed his expectations and she could say that she should have asked for his expectations before flirting.
Compromise
Brainstorm ideas that make you both happy and you can both agree upon. Be willing to compromise your stance. For example, he could say, "Okay, I understand you are a flirtatious person. I am willing to accept verbal flirting, but please don't caress or touch anyone else flirtatiously," and she could say, "I will make an effort to spend more time flirting with you than with others."
Make Up
Apologize. Thank your partner for apologizing and hug him. Do not bring it up again. Truly let it go and forgive.
Follow Through
Follow through with any behavior changes you promised to make.
LRA Crisis Tracker Invisible Children + Resolve
www.lracrisistracker.com2013-07-17 near Sambia: At approximately 11:00 PM, 6 LRA forces, including a woman, abducted a 60-year-old man, 14-year-old girl and a woman of unknown age from an ...
10 ways to spot and avoid genetically engineered foods Patriot ...
www.patriotheadquarters.com/10-ways-to-spot-and-avoid-genetically...A growing number of people are refusing to eat genetically modified food these days. Others dont care one way or the other and dont believe that their lives are ...
Relations With Colleagues & Supervisors - How To Information eHow
www.ehow.com Careers & Work Career AdviceDon't just sit there scratching your head, find useful info on Relations With Colleagues & Supervisors on eHow. Get essential tips and learn more about everything ...
5 ways to remove a broken dipstick in your Nissan Sentra...
www.homenetworkenabled.com/content.php?135-5-ways-to-remove-a...Plastic dipsticks suck! Some ideas on how to remove the annoying broken dipstick from your Nissan Sentra.
3 ways to resolve NoClassDefFoundError in Java
javarevisited.blogspot.com/2011/06/noclassdeffounderror-exception...150 posts By Javin Paul Published Jun 19, 2011Jun 20, 2011 This article is about NoClassDefFoundError and how to resolve Exception in thread "main" java.lang.NoClassDefFoundError in Java.NoClassDefFoundError
2 solution of java.lang.OutOfMemoryError in Java
javarevisited.blogspot.com/2011/09/javalangoutofmemoryerror...43 posts By Javin Paul Published Sep 02, 2011Sep 20, 2011 OutOfMemoryError is one of dreaded error comes in Java. Now days with increased memory you can easily get rid of java.lang.OutOfMemoryError by increasing ...
Resolve a DOI
dx.doi.orgType or paste a DOI name into the text box. Click Go. Your browser will take you to a Web page (URL) associated with that DOI name.
Top 10 Ways to Communicate Powerfully! - www.qualitycoaching.com
www.qualitycoaching.com/Articles/communication.htmlTop 10 Ways to Communicate Powerfully! Communication is more than the words we speak. Communication is about who we are and how we express ourselves and ...
0 comments:
Post a Comment