In a relationship, cheating is one of the most difficult things to overcome. If you or your partner have been unfaithful, there are a multitude of issues and emotions that arise; from anger to trust to the toxic, underlying issues that may have led to the illicit tryst to begin with. For many couples, infidelity is simply too complex and incendiary to ever get over. If you and your partner do decide to soldier on and work things out, there are a few things to keep in mind.
Instructions
- 1
Address the issue and get it out in the open. Suspicions, accusations and denials make it harder to deal with the issue at hand. You can only move forward if everyone is honest and the air is cleared. Your partner may readily admit it, or you might have to ask a few probing questions. If you have solid evidence and you know that he has cheated, be mindful of whether or not he is truthful. If not, you may be dealing with both a cheater and a liar.
2Get as much information about the incident as you can stomach. This may be hard to do, as too many details can seem like more than you need to know. To that end, do not worry about the "how" so much as the "who, when and why." Was it a premeditated, calculated affair or an isolated moment of misjudgment? Was it with someone who is his longtime friend or a stranger? All of this information can aid you in determining how to move forward.
3Decide how trust can be earned back. In its simplest form, this may mean him informing you of his whereabouts every minute of the day. Ultimately it is up to you to decide. In just about every case, this means eradicating all significant things relating to the incident. For example, if he had too much to drink at a bar and hooked up with someone, you would not be out of line by indefinitely forbidding him to go out and party.
4Seek counseling. If you both want to continue the relationship but feel that you are at a standstill, get professional help. Conversely, even if you two seem to be out of the woods, a counselor can still help by providing tools to strengthen the relationship.
5Take care of your own needs. A cheating partner can put a dent in your self esteem. Make sure that you do what you have to do to ensure that you are mentally in the right spot. This may mean taking up a new hobby, getting a new haircut or reinventing yourself in some way. The point is to accept and be proud of who you are without needing approval from your partner.
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