How to Apologize to Your Boyfriend After You Have Cheated

You have swiftly shattered all trust in your relationship with your infidelity. The first stop on the road to repair is an apology. You owe your boyfriend an explanation for your indiscretion. It will behoove you to make it as succinct and honest as possible. Be prepared for the fact that he may not want to hear what you have to say -- and for the very real possibility that you no longer have a boyfriend.

Instructions

Personalize the apology: "I'm sorry I hurt you." The apology should be sincere without blaming your boyfriend for your indiscretion. Apologies don't end in "but," and always be specific about what you are apologizing for. A good apology is one-third confession, one-third mea culpa and one-third remorse.

Answer all of his questions about the cheating honestly and briefly. This is not the time to get caught up in another lie. It also is not advisable to refuse to answer questions in hopes of "protecting" or "sparing" your boyfriend's feelings. What he imagines happened is probably far worse than reality. By lying and skirting questions, you will make it worse.

Explain why you cheated. The answer to this question will be a key indicator of whether your relationship is salvageable. Cheating is a symptom of something else. Get to the key issue of why you strayed, beg for forgiveness and vow to make steps to repair the relationship. Don't make any promises you can't keep.

Withstand the backlash. Now comes the hardest step of all -- sitting through his final response. This is where he will determine whether he wants to continue a relationship with you. You can make your final mea culpa plea here, but all you really can do is sit there and take it.

Cease all contact with the lover on the side. If your boyfriend decides to stay with you, even if it's just for now, you need to stop all communication with the person you cheated with. Staying in contact with that person is not conveying remorse, it's saying, "I'm sorry I got caught."

Practice patience -- it's your new best friend. You do not get to decide how long your boyfriend gets to be angry at you for cheating. He will be suspicious of your actions, words and whereabouts. It will take time to rebuild that bridge of trust. Ultimately, you get to decide whether you want to stick it out and attempt to salvage your relationship.

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