How to Date After Being Stalked

Recovery after being stalked can take time, as you begin rebuilding your self-confidence and feelings of trust for people in your life. When you feel comfortable enough with your recovery to begin dating again, you can take a few steps to help you through an evening. Choose a date who is compassionate and supportive as you continue to rebuild your life. Be clear about your specific needs throughout the date, and be willing to take the control over the date that you may need.

Instructions

Charge your cell phone and keep it with you during your date. Talk to friends or family, and let them know when you are going on a date and where you are going, and ask them to keep their phones handy if you need to call them. Use your cell phone to expand your comfort zone, knowing that you have supportive people willing to pick up their phones if something happens or if you need help.

Be upfront and honest with your date about your experience. Avoid uncomfortable details of your stalking experience; let him know that you are recovering from the situation but that you are not completely over the experience. As an example, you can tell your date, "About a month ago, I was the victim in a stalking situation and I'm not entirely over the experience." Explain as much or as little as you would like, but make sure that your date understands the situation.

Define your boundaries based on your comfort levels by asking yourself how slow you would like to take your next relationship. Explain your boundaries to your date, and let him know what is and what is not acceptable behavior during your date. For instance, you may feel more comfortable being in control of your next date, so make sure he knows that you will take the responsibility to call him when you are ready to go out again.

Guide your date through your recovery by telling him exactly what you need. Be clear but respectful, and let him know that you appreciate his help. As an example, you may arrive at a restaurant with your date to find that the atmosphere is too dark or troubling. Tell your date that you would like to go elsewhere because the restaurant makes you feel uncomfortable. Be as specific as you can, and give him a chance to respond.

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