How to Survive a Bitter Breakup

When a relationship doesn't end well, getting over the heartbreak can feel like fighting for your survival. You've lost the friendship of someone you love, and facing a future without that person seems scary and unpleasant. In some situations, the stress of the loss may cause severe depression or suicidal tendencies. Surviving the bitter breakup will take time, as you will need to work through your grief to accept the situation and begin to return balance to your life.

Instructions

Allow yourself time to grieve over the loss of the relationship. Work through the five stages of grief, advises Lesli Doares, a marriage therapist and coach. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Accept the relationship has ended by forgiving whoever was at fault for the breakup. Forgiveness does not condone what caused the breakup, but it allows you to put the past peacefully behind you so it does not negatively affect the future, according to relationship coach Susanne Alexander. You can also use the bad memories to help define what you look for and put into future relationships.

Cut off ties between your ex-lover and yourself, recommends Angel Donovan, a relationship coach and writer. Once you have exchanged one another's belongings, as necessary, Donovan suggests you stop communicating with that person and put away anything that reminds you of them. It may even be necessary to find a new circle of friends, especially if you might encounter your ex when spending time with mutual friends.

Pursue a new hobby. Keep your mind invested in hobbies that give you joy to leave yourself less time to dwell on the memories of the bitter breakup and lost relationship. To rediscover yourself and bring your focus back toward the future and self-improvement, social psychologist Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski recommends choosing new hobbies that your previous relationship prevented you from taking up.

Engage in activities that help you reduce stress felt in the aftermath of the breakup. This may include meditation, yoga, exercise or spending time with friends. Choose what works best to reduce your stress and keep you from mourning excessively for the lost relationship.

Keep a journal to stay focused on getting past the relationship and rebalancing your life to ensure you are ready for a new relationship when the time comes. Use the journal to evaluate the positive results of the breakup. If it's necessary to help you cope, record the events of the breakup, what caused the breakup, how it made you feel and how you feel now. Remind yourself of how the future will be better because of the relationship's end.

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Jen Lancaster is the New York Times best selling author of Bitter Is the New Black, Bright Lights, Big Ass, Such a Pretty Fat, Pretty in Plaid, and the upcoming My ...
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