Healthy Relationships With HIV

All the relationships in your life can expect to be affected by your HIV status; however, they need not be affected in a negative way. Although it is realistic to expect that some may discriminate against you or socially reject you, it is also possible that you will find love and support. The healthiest relationships for you might be fostered when your HIV status is kept private, but you might be compelled to fully disclose your condition. In the case of intimate relationships, it is imperative that you disclose your condition to protect your partner.

If your partner is not HIV positive, it is important to be honest about your HIV status and to take proper precaution to keep him protected. HIV InSite, an affiliate of the University of California, classifies sexual behavior into one of three categories: high risk, low risk or no risk. High risk behavior includes vaginal or anal sex without a condom. Sex with a condom, oral sex, french kissing or sharing cleaned sex toys are all considered low risk sexual behavior. There is no risk associated with hugging, masturbation, fantasizing, dry kissing, phone sex, cyber sex or sex toys that are not shared. In order to keep from spreading HIV to others, you must use a condom every time you engage in either vaginal and anal sex. It is important to have a non-infected partner tested every six months to check her status.

It is your choice as to whether or not to tell your friends if you are HIV positive. You might choose to be open about your status and tell everyone or you might choose to tell just a select group. You must decide how comfortable you are in sharing your personal health. Shock, pity, disbelief, helplessness or endless questions are common reactions. With good friends, your HIV status should not alter the friendship in any way. Physically, there are no risks posed to a friend of someone with HIV. Proper precautions should be taken though if there is blood shed.

Telling co-workers or employers you are HIV positive is your decision. Under the Americans with Disabilities Act, people with HIV/AIDS are protected from discrimination. If you fear that your illness will affect your work performance and therefore threaten your employment, get a letter from your doctor explaining what you need, perhaps a change in schedule or your workload, to remain in good health while on the job. As long as the essential functions of your job can be completed, your employer has no legal right to terminate you on the condition of your HIV status.

Families and their dynamics are all unique. So, you will have to decide if telling your family will bring you love and support or stress and grief. A healthy relationship will be one that is supportive, dependable and loving. Whether your family will be able to offer you the support you need is a question you should ask yourself before disclosing your HIV status to your family. Be prepared to answer personal questions about your health and lifestyle, including how you contracted the virus. Parents might want to be involved in your health care and it is up to you as to how much access you allow them into your medical affairs.

A healthy relationship with your children is often one of the toughest for HIV positive parents to navigate. Whether to disclose your HIV status to your children is your decision as a parent. There is no right or wrong answer. However, if you decide to be forthcoming about your heath, make sure that you are always available to answer any questions they may have. It is also wise to have a counselor or another trusted adult to whom your child can speak with about their feelings. Keeping your child happy and yourself available is paramount to a healthy relationship.

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