Matchmaker Rules

When the average person thinks of matchmaking, she may not smile much. She pulls up memories of a well-meaning best friend and his blind date setup that ended in catastrophe. She may have decided never to trust someone else to find what she needs. What she does not know is that elsewhere in the world, other people's best friends developed better matchmaking methods. The best of them take it as a calling, following the same professional ethics as counselors and other social servants. With a promise to follow those rules, they convince blind date dropouts to trust advice again.

To help a client find the best companion, a matchmaker needs to know many things that a client may not want the public, or a love interest, to find out. Like any relationship counselor, keeping personal information confidential presents no problem to the best in the industry. Most relationship professionals do their best not to present the client to the other party (in this case, a potential mate), but to coach the client in presenting herself to the person of interest. Learning personal, even embarrassing, information only helps the matchmaker guide the client in deciding which personal qualities to reveal to the love interest, in which order. If the coach decides that he should intervene and tell the love interest some information, he will ask the client for permission and only do so after getting that permission.

Some professional rules apply to following the law and otherwise being civil. Matchmakers who are serious about their reputation will not agree to do anything illegal or harmful for a client, or help a client do the same thing. By keeping a clean criminal and civil record, the matchmaker earns the trust of the love interest if the love interest finds out that the pursuer was helped by the matchmaker. Otherwise, that person will worry whether her privacy was invaded or some other offense. Matchmakers also waste no time insulting others in their industry. On the other hand, they will do their best to point out individuals who are obviously not qualified, or mistreat their clients or anyone affected by their services. Also, as a member of the same community as the client, matchmakers may decline to work in a situation where they cannot act as an objective third party. One example is when the client or love interest is a friend or someone to whom the matchmaker feels personally connected.

Matchmakers will be up front with a potential client about his qualifications and experience (although keeping past clients' names confidential). If progress seems to be slow or impossible with a client, the matchmaker will refer that client to someone more qualified for the situation, or otherwise end the relationship or contract.

A relationship pro will negotiate with the client all of the terms of payment and services before starting work, in writing if possible. If terms of the service or payment change, then a revision of the contract will be signed by both the matchmaker and the client before continuing work. Having clear terms at all points of the relationship will prevent confusion and anger of the client if it seems that the matchmaker has not served the client in the agreed upon way.

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