How to Move on After Finding Out Your Lover Is a Married Man

Finding out your lover is married is traumatic and heartbreaking, especially if you have invested a lot of time in the relationship. You will be going through a lot of pain and loss, and you need to treat yourself kindly during this time. Break away from him and move on with your life. It will take time before you fully recover, but one day you will be peaceful, cheerful and upbeat again and experience the joy in life.

Instructions

Cry, yell and express your feelings. You need to let your feelings out. You should never try to bottle them up and keep them inside. They will eventually come out later, perhaps in future relationships. So, even though he's not there, yell at the man who hurt you. You can also write your feelings in a journal or write a letter to your ex expressing your pain and heartache. You don't have to send the letter. It's simply important to let your emotions have free reign.

Spend time with family and friends. Realize there are people who care for you. You may have let these relationships lapse when you were with your lover. Now it's time to reconnect. Call up your friends and suggest going to dinner or a movie. Remember, you had a life before your lover and you will again now that he is gone.

Do something for others by volunteering for a cause. Giving back can be healing to someone going through pain and heartache. It takes the focus off of your problems and lets you bring comfort to those truly in need. It makes you see you are just a small part of the big picture of life. There are many people who have greater problems than yours, and that can put your problems into perspective. You will come to appreciate and be grateful for the life you have been given.

Find ways to enjoy yourself. If you have an interest in something like photography, for example, join a local photography group. See that there are moments to look forward to in life. Search for activities that make you smile, even if it's just going for long walks.

Engage in spiritual activities. Sometimes, it helps to feel closer to a God or greater force. So, consider joining a church, synagogue or other spiritual group. If you don't like organized religion, practice meditation. Get books on meditation and learn ways to feel better and be at peace.

Take advantage of everyday moments. Take a little time and look at the world around you. For instance, go outside at night and look at the stars. See the beauty and learn to appreciate what life has to offer, whether it's looking at the trees outside or gazing at the moon. Life is pretty spectacular, and you are a part of it.

Dress up or try a new hairstyle. You need to feel pretty again, so get out your favorite outfit and add some jewelry, like a special pair of earrings or a necklace. You need to see that you pretty and will make some lucky man ecstatic in the future.

Speak to a counselor. It's OK to admit you are having a hard time getting over your lost love. A counselor may be able to help you deal with this difficult and painful situation and help you to finally move on.

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