Thursday, October 29, 2015

How to Heal From Betrayal With Journaling

Sometimes our life experiences are just too painful to process right away and leave us with significant emotional scars.This may be particularly true if you experienced betrayal by a close friend or partner, which is not only hurtful but shocking as well. While the pain of the betrayal may be great, you may also be dealing with losing that person in your life. Journaling, or writing in a journal, can help you to work through what happened, understand your emotions and take steps to move forward.

Instructions

    1

    Find a place where you feel comfortable to write. Avoid places where you fear others may be looking over your shoulder--you want to express yourself as freely as possible and can only do this when you feel free to do so.

    2

    Write the entire story in your journal. Getting out the details will help you to see things more clearly, rather than just focusing on what happened in general. If your wife cheated, for instance, start with when you first suspected or even when you first met. Leave no detail out regarding the process of the betrayal, moving from how you first began to trust this person to when he betrayed you. When you are finished you can reread it and see how your perception may have blinded you to his actions or even how well he covered his transgressions against you. Remember, this is a learning process, so treat it as an opportunity to learn about yourself, as well.

    3

    Write whatever comes to mind, rather than setting up guidelines for what you will write about. Rather than writing, for example, that your best friend lied to you just because that was the cause of the problem, write about the good times you had if that is what is really on your mind. Never limit what you write in your journal.

    4

    Be candid and avoid censoring yourself. If you want to call your friend a name, for example, but feel it is inappropriate, write it in your journal. Remaining true to your feelings will help you to sort through the complex emotions you may be experiencing, No one is reading your thoughts, so feel free to write whatever you want.

    5

    Address any feelings of guilt, blame or fault you may feel in causing your friend or partner to betray you. For example, if you feel like your husband would not have cheated if you were home more often, write that. Once you have addressed that these are your feelings, identify the areas where you can and cannot accept guilt or blame for the betrayal. Reread your story and look for signals that this was someone else's problem and had nothing to do with you.

    6

    Write how you want to feel again. Often, betrayal makes us feel as though we were not worth the other person's honesty or faithfulness, which can affect our self-esteem. Journal how you used to feel before the betrayal and what you believe it would take to get back to that place. Make a list of things you will do in order to accomplish your goal of regaining yourself again.



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